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is my hubby lazy as hell or do i expect too much??

ok so we're both young (im 25 he is 23) we have 2 babies 5 and 19 months...i stay at home while he works (hes the manager of a subway rest.) and i also work 2 nights a week. he pays the large bills (rent, electricity, gas) and i take care of the water bill and internet. but he goes to work about 7 and comes home by 3 and literally showers, has a beer, and passes out in front of the tv for hours. sometimes he will run around with the kids for an hour but after that his butt doesnt leave the couch unless its going to the kitchen. i try to be very understanding cuz hes young n he works all the time but seriously is a subway job going to make him THAT tired? i get absolutely no time for myself since he is always tired and wants to lay down. i am up to my elbows in playdoh n toys and dishes from sun up to past sundown. i dont get to be alone ever, no friend time, no me time, but he sees his at least every week. what to do???

 
secondtyme520

Asked by secondtyme520 at 12:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • His next day off leave the house and go have a nice day. Get a pedi or have lunch with a friend. It's easy to be lazy when someone else is their to pick up his slack. Talk to him and tell him you need his help and you also need your time just as much as he needs his. If moms not happy, no one is!!!!
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 1:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • He gets off work early enough to help out a lot around the house. IMO, he is being lazy.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 12:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • To answer your question, he is lazy as hell.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I recommend you get the book FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST by Dr. Gary Smalley. You have a tug-of-war going on in your house and your husband has decided not to play. A man's way of withdrawing from a situation in which he knows he can't win is to lay down and go to sleep. There are things that you and only you can do to change the atmosphere in your home and this book will help you figure out what those things are. I don't think your husband is a lazy bum, and I don't think that you are expecting too much. You are just going about in a very wrong way getting what you expect. I wish you a happy home and just know that it is something you can have. Best wishes for a better next year!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:23 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Note to self: Get that book! Um my DH is a chef and works REALLY long hours but he is off every night and weekends it is like pulling teeth to get him to do anything, nagging does not help sometimes I lterally hand him the baby and leave... I feel you pain Hon!!
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 1:30 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Well, I have a 2 yr old and 6 month old. My hubby always just pretty much played video games all day...and I did everything with the kids....EVERYTHING! lol Then, on Christmas day, I fell, and broke my toe, and had to use crutches. He started doing everything because i really couldn't. It drove me NUTS!! Not being able to do anything...just sitting there, watching him do everything. Plus...I'm the one that usually does everything...so i have a certain way of doing things...I understand things my 2yr old says that he doesn't....So i am constantly like...make sure you do this...make sure you check that....and it frustrates him lol. It's not that i feel he is incapable of doing these things...or that he will do them wrong...I'm just so used to doing them myself....that its weird having someone else do it....But now I'm off the crutches and don't need much help...and he is still helping out WAY more than ever. It's nice.
    michellelee3708

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 3:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • OHH I'M GETTING THAT BOOK ALSO. I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS-ALL GROWN AND OUT- BUT HUSBAND WORKS(NURSE) --AND LETS GET REAL- PUSHES PILLS AND PAPER WORK..COMES HOME AND JUST SLEEPS. HE ONCE TOLD ME THAT HE IS OFF, WELL YOUR OFF FROM YOUR JOB BUT NOT YOUR HOUSE, THINGS NEED TO BE DONE AROUND HERE, HE DON'T GET IT. I'M AT HOME, SO DO EVERYTHING,HE DON'T EVEN FEED THE CAT. I'M NOT USE TO THIS-- MY EX WAS VERY HANDY-COULD FIX ANYTHING- THIS ONE CAN'T EVEN SCREW IN A LIGHT BLUB. NOW THATS LAZY,AND I HATE IT.. HOPE THAT BOOK HELPS ME FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO /BEFORE I END UP IN JAIL..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership; it does not seem to me that your marriage is one. Your husband sounds like a lousy roommate.

    Before you married, why did you choose to keep your finances separate? How did decide to divide up child care and housework?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:49 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Managers have to put up with employees who do not show up that means doing their job as well as the person who does not show up there is stock to order and to be put away and there is always customer complaints to juggle and deal with some cannot be solved at the store level.There are in store meetings and a ton of meetings with stores in your district, and making nice with your manager the district manager. There are store inspections any time a complaint is lodged and the state food inspector you have to make at least 90 to pass if not whole store must be cleaned and to start again. But having said all of this he should still help at home as well. I was a single parent when I was a manager trainee it was hard but it does not excuse you from your role in the family.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:26 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

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