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He never showed up----(more of a rant really--- question at the end)

My kids dad called last night out of the blue, and asked for them, so he was suppose to be here @ 3:30 and he never showed!!! The kids sat in there snow pants and jackets and boots and hats and mittens from 3:15 til 4:45 now they are crying, and hyperventilating, and he has not called since october what the hell?? My kids are cool and fun to hang out with handsome, and my DD is pretty and funny and they have senses of humor and make you laugh all the time---and the fat dirty fool is giving them a complex.

WHAT DO I DO WHEN HE CALLS AGAIN----I HAVE SOLE CUSTODY---HE HAS REASONABLE VISITATION

Answer Question
 
blue_glass_mama

Asked by blue_glass_mama at 5:50 PM on Dec. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,982 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • this is a tough one.. i know how ure kids feel bc i went through it growing up waiting for my dad to pick me up and not showing.. it hurts now at 25.. i know this sounds harsh but ur kids are better off than growin up with that constant disappointment.. u make sure u tell him that if hes not serious about his kids and theyre feelings he better get lost for good ..
    zperez0809

    Answer by zperez0809 at 5:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • First of all do not tell your kids he is comming to visit tell he actually shows up next time. That way they will never know if he was supose to visit. Next time he calles bitch him out. Or just do not answer.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I agree with louise2. Don't tell them until he is at the door and I would definitely cussing him out when you talk to him again.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 6:05 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Wow, that's so painful, mama! You're kids don't deserve that. I agree w/PP: let him come, but tell him he'll have to get them ready when he comes because you're not going to get them worked up for disappointment. Tell your kids what you told us: what great kids they are and how much YOU love being with them! Whatever you do, don't diss their dad. Be honest with them that you're sorry he has not been responsible, but let them find out for themselves he's a jerk, or they will feel guilty for loving him, and caught in the middle. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 6:08 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Get documentation that he did not show up, have your kids do some journaling ( or pic making) about their feelings of dad's no-show, deny further visitation until he takes you back to mediation then show this stuff to the mediator. Also, like louise2 do not get them worked up for any further visits until it can be worked up between you 2 adults. Are you doing something special for them tonight? so then there memory is of your special thoughts not Dads disrespectful behavior towards them.
    BTW:: Call his local hospital to make sure he is not there then document that you called around to hospitals because that is the only reason you would not show up for your kids if you were in the hospital dying and did not remember your name hehehe Good Luck with this challenging issue. I hope you 2 can work it our better for the kids.....Julie
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 6:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I say if he calls again say no, that way this doesnt happen again
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:14 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • i agree, i never TRY to tell my kids something i think will happen in a week or so and give thier hopes up. next time have your kids dress themselves up when he arrives. he can wait. i would definitely tell him how you felt when he didnt show or else dont give him that chance next time cause he blew it this time.

    you only learn once from these kind of mistakes
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 6:22 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • My bio mom did this to us many times until finally my brother and I asked the judge if we could stop all communication and be adopted by our stepmom. My bio mom agreed to it and we got a real mom finally. It sucks but you can't keep the kids from him legally you can let them see he is the problem and in time they can reject him and he will likely just go away. It was hurtful but it did my my bond with my dad and my stepmom much stronger I knew they would be there for me and knew my bio mom did not care and I didn't need her. I hope it gets better for them. Some men and some women should not be allowed to have kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Do NOT tell them until he is at the door. Why break their hearts when you don't need to. IF he calls again, tell him he can visit at your house until he can prove that he is trustworthy and wants to be a father. You are not deny visits, you are just making them where you can supervise because he is not around enough yet.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:41 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I also would not tell them untill he is at the door. I dont tell my kids anything in advance just n case it does not work out.
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 5:36 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

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