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spend the night at dad's

So my SO and I are not married yet and he lives on the other side of town. He loves our daughter just as much as I do. Ever since she was about 2 months old, we agreed to let her spend the night at his house (i stay at my house). Well maybe I have attachment problems but I miss her so incredibly much at night when she is there. I can't sleep right when she isn't home. Of course I can get up and go over for breakfast, and stay to tuck her in at night, but the thought of her not in the crib and the fact I can't hear her on the moniter just makes me cry! We have done this for 6 months now, and I still can't cope.
I have tried in the past to get him to understand how much I miss her, and all he says is that he misses her twice as much bc she isn't there as much as she is here. ANY advice on getting him to see my side? or letting her stay here more? And please don't solve this with "move in together" or "have him stay over".

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honeybee429

Asked by honeybee429 at 8:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I meant she can spend the night on WEEKENDS. she is here all week. sorry.
    honeybee429

    Answer by honeybee429 at 8:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • but why cant you guys live together?
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • We are both in college full time and rely on our parents to support us financially. It is the decision we have made. We are engaged to be married after I graduate, which means his career will be set and he can take over all finances.
    honeybee429

    Answer by honeybee429 at 8:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • You can do both. You can be married and go to school. You may even get more financial aid that way. As mean as it sounds, you just need to get over your fears and let her spend time with her dad, the man that you are going to marry. It is hard to let our babies go but she is with her father and safe. Enjoy your time alone, spend time doing things that you can't when you have her. Take a long, hot bath, read a book, go out with friends. I would have loved to have that little bit of a break, but it was not possible. My son's father was untrustworthy and I would NEVER let him sleep there. She will be ok and so will you. I didn't mean to be mean to you, I just didn't now how else to state what I wanted to say.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:38 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Well we both have full ride scholarships, and we cannot work because it takes time out of studying so... i know that sounds crazy, but we HAVE to keep our GPAs really high and its hard enough doing that with a baby. I should enjoy my time more while I am alone, but I feel like part of me is missing while she is gone. I know she is safe. Thanks for the reassurance and answering.
    honeybee429

    Answer by honeybee429 at 9:37 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

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