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If you had to do it again....

This is a question for mom's who have been through the "terrible three" stage and used spanking as a form of discipline (please don't turn it in to a debate). If you had to do it again, would you still use spankings? Do you feel like it works at this age? Why or why not (based on your own experience only please!). My twin sons just turned 3 and don't seem to be phased by time outs! I would love to learn from the experience of all of you veteran moms :) .

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Dec. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • no it doesnt work, as hitting someone smaller and helpless...nyways if you can picture your kids faces after you spank them. and be ok with those faces? then go ahead. I did it one time, and never again. broke his trust and made me feel like an idiot. hitting is what happens when a parent loses control.walk away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I absolutely would do it again. It works so well that all of my children now spank my grandchildren, all of whom are very well behaved. There is no subsitute for spanking to teach a child respect for authority along with instant obedience. Once it is consistently implemented, it very seldom has to be used because your children know that you will and they don't like the pain associated with a good spanking. For those who believe that spanking is in any way abusive, it absolutely is not, and the earlier it is instituted, the more peaceful and loving will be your home.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:26 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I do time in the corner, time outs, I take things they like away ....btw, I have a 9, 4, 3, and 10 month old. I don't normally spank. I just try to tell them whats expected of them constantly so that it doesn't only look like I'm giving them attention when they do something wrong. I go on and on about it when they do something right. when they do something wrong I keep the punishment short so they can see that theyre getting more of a response from me when they do the right thing. Good Luck:)
    Shyma

    Answer by Shyma at 8:26 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • It did not work in my experience. After i learned that spanking does nothing to actually correct their behavior (maybe at the moment it will work, but never in the long run) I felt horrible for even considering it. So, i stopped & never EVER spanked my DD again. Luckily, she is very verbal & smart, so sitting down & explaining things to her actually worked wonders, even when she was 3 years old.

    what also worked for me was using her favorite things as leverage. If i could, i would allow her to choose her consequence. If she chose not to clean up her mess, then her favorite teddy bear went on top of the fridge where she could see it, but not get it. She learned pretty quickly to choose the right consequence over the wrong. I never yelled, ot got upset because that teached kids that their behavior gets a reaction, you don't want to teach them that. Staying cool headed is a must, but hard for some.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:58 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Positive reinfocement is a must also. Unfortunately, most parents only notice when their kids do something bad, they don't always notice when they do something good. If they get LOTS of attention when doing good, it will really make it easier for them to choose to do the right thing.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:00 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Works on my 3 year old but it isn't often that we have to get to that stage.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 9:09 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I agree with NannyB. If you use spanking early then you shouldn't have to use it often. Just the threat of it will do the trick once the child know that you will use it. Good Luck.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 9:24 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • It works for us! We would absolutely do it again. Agreed... If you start EARLY you shouldn't have to do it often. We don't have to often at all, but he knows it's over when we do.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 9:48 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Didnt really work for my oldest(he's 5 1/2) but does work for my 3 1/2 yr old.

    So, in my experience it depends on the child whether it will work or not. And ya...Ill continue to spank if I feel its warranted. No regrets or anything.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 12:25 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I was an animate spanker until my son was 4. Then I realized it did no god. When he was around 4 he was having a tantrum and I walked towards him and he started screaming at the top of his lungs, outside 'Don't hit me! Don't hit me!' I felt like such an ass. Now that being said we found out later then my son has asperger's and that may have something to do with it. My DD is 2 and I do not spank her either unless it is a safety related issue that needs instant attention and a time out would not be appropriate. Like when she lets go of my hand and runs out into the parking lot. that is not a good time for a 'no no no now that wasn't safe sweety' IMO
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:37 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

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