Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you do whatever it takes?

If you felt you found the love of your life, the one, and things were rough, really rough, at what point would up give up? Would you fight through anything to make it work? What if he was the problem, and just didn't know what he wanted but he knew he loved you? At what point do you give up?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Dec. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Yes, i would do whatever it takes. Life isn't easy, Nothing in life, including love and marriage. Just think about the happiness you and your husband could experience a few months from now if you both work hard and get through that rough patch. Sacrificing never goes unrewarded.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I don't believe in one "love of your life." I believe there are several people out there that we could be compatible with and the point is to find the one that you are MOST compatible with and attracted to. That being said, it depends on why things are rough. If he doesn't know what he wants, how can he know that he wants you? If a guy told me he didn't know what he wanted, then I would tell him that I would back off and give him time to figure it out. If he decided that it's me, then he can come find me at that point and see if I'm still available. I wouldn't sit around and wait for any man.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:15 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Men are so indecisive
    its a mans flaw, they never know exactly what they want

    actually my therapist from my couples counseling said I have a mind set like most men
    I have emotions but I ignore them so I can think with facts and practicality
    lol most women go based off of emotion...and thats how my fiance is so we're very opposite so i usually understands a man POV better than womens

    i dont know the specifics but i think the easiest way to find out what a man really wants with you is this: leave him. just say Im not waiting around for you to decide what you want, i have a life to live too and if you dont know if you want me in yours then im DONE. Actually leave even after then NO DONT GO's and give it some time. After the initial drama you will see if he fights to get you back or not. If he doesnt then stay gone and move one
    GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • It depends. I think I would need more details. You asked what if HE was the problem. If you both love eachother I don't see why there would be a problem. I would fight but he would have to too. A one man fight is a losing battle in love.
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 10:16 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Yes. I have been there and done that. I have done things just for him in order to make him happy (or so I thought) because I love him more than I love myself and will do whatever it takes basically to make him happy and keep him. Now that doesn't mean he walks all over me either. He is the same way. However, there needs to be a balance.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 10:29 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • The problem is you can only control what you do, not what he does. So does whatever it takes mean being his doormat? Do you allow him to waltz in and out of your life when he chooses? I would not do that! I think if your married you still need to set boundaries! The old standby why go to the store for milk when you have the cow at home, I would give him a choice and a time limit for him to "decide" if he want you or not! You have tobe worth more than somebody loving you a bit, you deserve to be loved with someone's whole heart and soul, through thick and thin! If things are tough and he can't stick by you, what happens the next time crisis strikes, same thing all over again? Be strong and stick to your guns! I hope it works out for you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:31 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Honestly, it really depends on what he is doing. If he's cheating, abusing me in some way, or constantly pulling the "I love you/I hate you" kind of thing, those are things I probably wouldn't stick around for. But if it's just a matter of some rough times, and he's a bit confused, yes, I would do whatever it takes. I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I'm not going to give up on that or him just b/c things are a little rough. In fact, my boyfriend and I are dealing with some really rough stuff right now. His job sucks horribly, the house just got broken into and all his guns stolen, he's massively stressed, I'm massively stressed, but we are not giving up on each other b/c we love each other. We're going to struggle thru the rough stuff and get back to the good stuff. It's what relationships are all about.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:45 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Keep in mind that knowing he is the one and FEELING he is the one are two different things. So many women feel like he's the perfect guy....if he'd just change. If things are rough then give it an adjustment period. After that, it just might be that he's not really the right guy. Sometimes we want a certain person to be the right one but no matter how much we try it just doesn't work. I was going to give up on SO after a year but he took over and made things work. Turns out I was trying to hard to make things be the way I thought they should be. Once I let go and let him take over, it still took some adjustment time but now it's pretty great. How much time is the adjustment period? I chose a year. It just depends on how much time you want to invest in it. Keep in mind for every yr you waste on a bad one is a yr you lose with the right guy you do find.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:15 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I am married for better or worse only reason I would leave is for abuse and if he cheated on me and blamed me. I have put 16 years into my relationship and it is hard work some days it sucks other days it is pure joy. Anything worth having is going to take work and commitment. Some are not strong enough to be married others are strong enough to weather all the storms and come out happy and content.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN