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Do you feel like most parents are ignorant to teen behavior?

I ask b/c I work with two WONDERFUL women who have 13 year old sons. They started talking about how a family member asked the mother if she had had the SEX talk with her son....the mother was very ANGRY ANGRY about being asked this....

She said NO WAY he is only 13....he is not having sex...no way.
The other mother said "my son is never away from me" he doesnt have time to have sex" he is too young"

But I know her son went to a Christmas dance....doesnt she realize all they need is a bathroom....

Am I weird for thinking they have their eyes closed and both need to talk to their boys about SEX

My son is 6 and I have already started talking about not following the crowd and about making good decisions with friends....

I have tried to open the door for a dialouge about it in the future...but I think around age 12 or so is a good age.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Dec. 31, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • I think so. All the crazy men I know in my life started their sexual stuff at nine and older. I lost my virginity very young also. I don't think that you are bad for telling them. They do need a wake up call.
    akmami0f4

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 1:40 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I think that a lot of mom's are looking the other way. They all say, "Oh not my son/daughter" but it is stupid. Trust me, there are 12 year olds out there getting pregnant as we speak. They need to open their eyes and realize they are living in a day and age where it isn't just possibly, it is a reality. Parents like that piss me off because they aren't taking responsbility for their children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I teach HS and have to agree that many parents are in denial about what thier kids do when they are away from parents. Not to say all kids are out having sex and doing drugs, but even "good" kids do things mom and dad would not approve of (seeing R-rated movies, eating junk food)

    I have to avoid topics such as sex and drugs in plays I choose because parents in my area deny that HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS deal with these things in daily life. This is despite the weekly drug issues in the building or the many teen pregnancies (I have one class of 17 with a girl who is pregnant and another who has a 19-month old)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Both of those women are being very naive.
    It is important to start talking about life very early with your child. Whether it's violence, respect, sex, etc. You really need to always be open and honest with your child. To assume that a 13 year old is not having sex is ridiculous. In England a 15 year old girl got pregnant allegedly by a 9 year old. It turns out that it wasn't the 9 year old's baby, but another boy from their school. The girl had been sleeping with multiple partners at 15 years old! However, that doesn't distract from the fact that a NINE year old was having sex with his 15 year old girlfriend.

    I know better then to believe that children are "Too young" to know about sex. In this day and age, kids know about sex before they hit middle school. My sister was five years old when she told her entire class about sex. My parents were always very honest with us. And I plan to be to be with my children as well.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:48 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • i started saying to my sons when they were five no glove no love. I was never going to be silly about what they knew and what they did not know nor was i ever going to say not my child.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:51 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • The "sex" talk needs to be an ongoing talk that begins at about 6 years old. It starts with our bodies and proper names for body parts and moves on depending upon age and development. I have a 13 year old and I know that he is no angel but I do know that he isn't having sex--he doesn't even like girls yet. I am not oblivious of what 13 year olds do and they don't need a bathroom. the just need a dark corner somewhere. Those parents are mistaken and have no clue what their kids are doing and when one of them gets a girl pregnant they will be shocked.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:16 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • what his parents wont teach him his friends will.... who would she rather he heard it from? even when they get that glazed look in there eyes keep talking some dose penetrate....its always the parents who thinks there kids dose not do naughty .... have you met a parent who dose not think there kid is a "good" kid... so where are all the kids who led all the good kids astray coming from???  keep talking, keep it real, keep been open to listen.

    starmum44

    Answer by starmum44 at 4:34 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • No one knows what their teen is up to 24/7, you have to give them the talk, as it only takes a while to get into a lifetime of mess, and you will know you did everything you could as a parent to stop that happening, even if it means you consent to them, as long as they protect themselves and any partner they have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I just think parents need to stop being so blind to the fact that teenagers know how to manipulate just like adults. My daughter isnt a teenager yet and when she becomes one I will most likely say "oh no she isnt doing that". But as adults I think we have to remember that we all were teenagers at one point and time and the same things we were thinking and doing doesnt change. I know how I was as a teenager so I dont expect her to be like me, but Im also not blind to what can happen. My guardians had no clue what I was doing because I was an angel at home. I had excellent grade, good scholar, went to church on Sunday. But boy if they only knew.
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 1:08 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • i think alot of people like to believe what lets them sleep at night...i would have told them that my husband lost his virginity at 14
    pisces_chick89

    Answer by pisces_chick89 at 7:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

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