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I'm still in love with my son's father but the feelings to have sex ain't there anymore but I'm afraid that sooner or later he's going to cheat on me but he's been patient so far and it's been 5 months since we had sex.I have major problems with the situation as I hate sex but I can arouse myself without him meaning I only have an orgasm when he goes down on me but the sex is kinda painful so could this be a medical problem?

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Asked by wandaluv at 5:12 PM on Dec. 31, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • sex should not be painful, and if you are married sex is crucial for a marriage, but it takes strong husband to be patient. If you are not married than I would take things slow, rebuild trust, get married and then think about sex. But definitely see your doctor.

    Answer by Precious333 at 5:17 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I would go see your OBGYN ASAP. I agree - sex should not be painful at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Not to scare you at all, (although it scared me some) ovarian cysts or cancer can cause pain during sex. (Cancer treatable if caught early.) Not saying you have either, probably don't. BUT, I'd go to the doctor and have myself checked out for anything that causes pain during sex. It could be hormone deficiency or any other number of things. It's good to have an annual exam, so that the doctor can recognize problems more quickly. Good luck and blessings.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 5:29 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I have the same issue. Try lots of lubrication and positions that stimulate your clit more or have SO stimulate it manually during intercourse. Question: Are you a very small framed person as well? Sometimes I wonder if my size i part of the problem.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Well, if you have an okay from your doctor then I have heard that certain chemicals in your body can take away the desire to have sex so you could try eating certain foods or taking something like ginseng to get in the mood.

    If you have a hard time with the idea of sex you may want to talk to a therapist about how to overcome that b/c you don't want to be miserable or fearful the rest of your marriage.

    If you just aren't that into it then try new things, tapes, books, toys whatever you haven't tried before. Also, it may be painful if you are stiff as a board uncomfortable so maybe you need to take the lead until you find what works.

    As long as you keep working through this it will get better.

    Answer by 1st_LadyD at 5:52 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Definately should not be painful. Has it always been painful. Try different positions and lubes and you be in charge of things so you only have as much penetration and speed and roughness or passion that you want or do not want. I would definately call and set up a dr appt to double check down there. The only time that sex was painful to me was when we did it too much and I was raw down there but it went away after a day. Good Luck

    Answer by SuzanneL09 at 7:13 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • ok this is sep issue from other post...girl you just need new docs as none of this should be happening. take charge of your health and talk to your docs. gl.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:43 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • yes and it can be a fixable thing. Talk to your doctor.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:02 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

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