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do you ever feel bad about being a stay at home mom with DH supporting you..?

i don't anyone else to raise my kids. but if i work it would have to be at night when hubby gets home then i will have no time for him and also he deploys in aug.. then i would have no one to watch the kids. . i feel like i need to do something.. i feel like i need to contribute more.. i am going to school full time online too, i know eventually i will have a job i just feel like i am standing still..


Asked by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Dec. 31, 2009 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • The way I see it, if you are a SUCCESSFUL sahm, you pull just as much weight as your DH. You keep the home livable for him and his children. You make sure he has a good meal. You make sure he has clean clothes. You make sure the kids are happy and healthy and intelligent and emotionally functional. These are things that are amenities to a man - things that, without you, might not be possible for him. So, he makes the money that allows you to do your job, and you make his "off" time more pleasurable, because he isn't playing catch-up with all the stuff that didn't get done while he was working. He gets to feel loved and important and comfortable, and you get to focus on important things like making your children into happy and successful adults who can survive in the real world. So I see absolutely nothing wrong with being a sahm. Have some confidence in yourself! If you are doing your job, its a job worth doing!

    Answer by Iskkra at 11:20 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • i don't feel guilty...dh wants me home

    Answer by armywife43 at 7:06 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Please read you own question and what you wrote about your life. Are you lazy? It sure doesn't sound like it. Right now you have a job and that is the one that is most important. That is contributing..... If you husband is leaving in a few months, all the more reason to spend these few months together. There will be years ahead that you can work if you choose. Tighten you belt and just enjoy these few years ahead of you. You can finish your courses online. Is that standing still? If you had a a job you would have to sacrifice a lot. Don't feel any guilt. grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 7:16 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • No I don't ever feel bad about it. This is something that DH and I discussed early on and we both agreed that it was important to us that I be a SAHM.

    Answer by Krysden at 7:19 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Nope..Considering the high cost of daycare for three kids, I would be lucky to bring home $300 a payday after earnings since my pay would go towards daycare.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • "I don't want anyone else to raise my kids"

    I've never really understood that statement. When your kids go to school they are in school more than they are at home. So, what's the difference? I think it's awesome if a mom can stay home with a child at least for the first year but to imply that if you don't someone else is raising your children is absurd. Try to think outside the box a little.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:24 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • PP It is actually proven that children will pick up the habits of the daycare providers for the first three years at least, and I for one want to be the influencing factor of how my daughter learns behaviors, and other things. So I am staying home until my kids go to school. School is an educational environment that teaches very little in life and social skills which are the job of the home life so it is not the same. I do not feel bad staying home I save us money on daycare and my DD doesn't get sick often like daycare babies tend to so I save medical expenses as well. I am also making sure my child is well taken care of which does not truly happen in daycare, I know I was a teacher in a daycare. Don't feel guilty, and if you do talk to you DH about it he will put you at ease.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 7:51 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • Research shows that children that attend daycare centers or early educational programs actually do better academically and socially. The most influential age is actually 5-8 years old and most children are in a school setting at that time. Also, keeping your child at home doesn't help their immune systems. When your child enters the school system they will be constantly sick.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:31 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • No I didn't feel Guilty when I was a stay at home mom, now I work part time my mom watches my kids, I wouldn't want my kids go to a daycare either, them daycare people are crazy at least were I live, at least when they are school age they come home and ask you questions.

    Answer by looovemybabies at 8:36 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

  • I was never a ft sahm- I worked night hours (11pm-7am) part time which required limited daycare. I also worked every other weekend. Both my husband and I worked and had sole childcare responsibilities. We called it each participating 100%. Our kids are happy, healthy, successful college students. I wouldn't change a thing. Our kids have great relationships and respect for each of their parents. They were not raised in daycare, and I liked contributing to our our family income! To each her own-


    Answer by Sisteract at 10:02 PM on Dec. 31, 2009

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