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How does spanking teach a child to respect his/her parents?

Is physical discipline the only way to get respect from a child? Are children who are not spanked less respectful to their parents than those who are spanked?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Dec. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • My daughter is 18 months old, and as such, she behaves like an 18 month old. I won't spank her for acting her age. When she misbehaves, it's up to me to take the time to explain to her my expectations, and to be an example to her with my own behavior. If I have to talk to her 100 times in a given day about the same behavior, then so be it. She'll "get it" when she's mature enough to "get it". What good would spanking do? In my opinion, it would teach her to fear me. "I'd better not do ________, otherwise Mommy will hit me." That's not respect for a parent from a child. That's fear. There's no discipline involved. Only punishment.

    I believe the reason my daughter and I are so bonded is because she trusts me to treat her gently and with respect. I treat her that way because it's the way I want others to treat me? Do I like it when people hit me? Heck no! So why would I hit another person-especially a 20lb tot?

    Answer by Fallaya at 12:25 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Yes. I believe you have to firmly and strictly let a child know that you are boss. I see way too many spoiled rotten little freaks who's parents are standing there begging and pleading for them to behave... I just laugh. It's so amusing. Why not pick them up, swat their asses and make them behave? It's the way it was done when I was a kid, when my kids were kids.... They learned how to behave and they did. Too many little spoiled brats are driving us crazy out in public... why?? Because parents are lazy ass wimps, who prefer to beg and plead and cry because their little wild animals do not behave. Boo Hoo...don't cry to me. I taught mine discipline and respect and you didn't see me begging my kid to behave in public because they were embarrasing me. Nonsense.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • It doesn't. It just tells them that they are bigger and stronger and can hit them. BUT! I will say that there is a time and place before I get on my soap box! People who use it as the only form of discipline should know it doesn't work. I would say that if the child's life is in danger or they are putting another person's life in danger (example: running into traffic in front of a car), then I would say its an exception. Other than that, you should use positive guidance and each time a child acts inappropriately, they should have it explained to them how you want them to act. What is appropriate. If you don't tell them, they will never know. Praise them when they are acting appropriately. Adults shouldn't react when they are angry and spank a child. It just shows that you can't control yourself.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 12:03 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Annon- so when you don't act appropriately or do something wrong does someone hit you? Would that make you want to follow the rules and act what is considered more appropriate to that person? It just shows that parents don't take the time to think it through and help the child correct their behavior. No, you shouldn't beg a child to behave. They tend to act up in a public place sometimes to see what you will do. No matter what, remove them from the situation, leave, so what if the cart if full of groceries. The child needs to know right from wrong. A normal child will push the limits to see if you mean what you say. Don't use empty threats. You need consequences that are appropriate. It takes thought. Physical violence isn't the answer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Is physical discipline the only way to get respect from a child?  No, my parents didn't spank me and I have always respected them.  Sure I acted out, children do.  But I always had a healthy fear of disappointing or angering my parents.

     Are children who are not spanked less respectful to their parents than those who are spanked?  See above


    Answer by sgtdemanda at 12:10 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • I was spanked as a child...for stupid things. By stupid things I was spanked for shaking Christmas presents; not opening them early mind you just shaking them to see if I could guess what was inside...I was also spanked for begging for food then not eating what I was served; making me go to bed hungry would have been enough but no my Dad felt a spanking was warranted on top of that.

    I am not damaged; I did not lose trust or faith in my parents. I simply learned when they said something; no matter how trivial it may have seemed to me at the time; they meant it.

    With my own two girls; we are more gradual in our punishments; 1st they're told it was wrong (you have to know that right?); 2nd offense is time out; 3rd offense is either removal of item or spanking for defiant behavior (depending on the issue). And when I say spank I mean 2-3 swats on the bottom; not a beating!

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 12:44 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • That's not respect that's fear. It teaches them that they are bigger and stronger and to be feared. It's a bully mentality that should be illegal....oh is in some states. We just had a guy here in FL arrested for spanking a child the other day. It's called BATTERY on a child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:50 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • So Beach, when you hit your child, do you tell them every time what is expected and how you want them to act, what to do "right" next time? Or do you just do the typical, "don't_____". Spanking is hitting, it physically hurts them. Lets call a spade a spade here. Let me guess, you hit them when they hit someone else too so they know its wrong. Or is that ok with you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • It's all matter of opinion and every opinion has a very long explanation


    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:46 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • My daughter is 2...if I tell her to do something...or NOT to do something, and she doesn't listen...I I start counting. I say ONE!...if she doesn't start doing what she was told, I say, if I have to get to 3, you're gunna get a spank on the bum! then I say TWO! and if she still doesn't listen, I tell her what I want her to do one more time...and if I still get no response...she gets a firm whack on the bottom. Not too hard, not hard enough that I leave a red handprint...but hard enough that she gets right up and does what she was told. I alternate between that, and time outs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Jan. 1, 2010