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Going on 4 years..and he just walks out the door.

It would be 4yrs and 2 make a long story short weeks b4 he ended it, he told me how much he loved me, wanted to be with me, and wanted to start our family. We already have a daughter, and i'm currently pregnant with our 2nd child. Him and my best friend had been hangin out, she had problems with her bf, and she moved out of there apt, so my BD (baby daddy) helped her move her stuff. Moving turned into hanging out, and I eventually find out that they're seeing each other now...she has a baby as well. He says that he "needs time to think" and "his heart just isn't in it anymore" BUT the night b4 he decided 2 leave me...he was rubbing my belly and told me how much he loved me. I'm lost and i'm not quite sure how to deal with this. I want him to come back around for me and for his daughters obviously she was never my friend to begin with, although she said all he talks about is me and how he wants to better our relationship HELP!


Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Jan. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I wish I knew who you were so I could talk to you in more detail. My ex went to Iraq and came back with major issues. I got pregnant soon after he came back. I was a little nervous about having a baby. He gave me promises that I had nothing to worry about. When my son was born we moved us closer to his family with a chance that he may be deployed again. When my son was four months old he called me and told me that he wasn't coming home. I shut down for a few months. I was in a town where I knew no one and had two children that I was going to take care of. When I woke up from a foggy cloud (it seemed) I realized that I still had to be a good mother. I enrolled in college and started working. I lost all respect for him over a period b/c I felt like my life was on hold while he was in Iraq. And even if he didn't want to be with me he should have NEVER forgotten about the kids.Think about what's best 4 u and the kids! He's a joke!

    Answer by Peacefully at 2:23 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • AND to add to this....with our first daughter, he left near the end of my pregnancy. He again, claimed that he "needed time to think."

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Sorry but you really need to think about if you want to be with a man that behaves like this. Sounds like he has some issues that you don't need to be putting up with. Good luck!

    Answer by ronjwake at 1:14 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • I don't think this is about your friend. It's about him. Please learn from these incidents or he will do it again and again.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:52 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • If anything else love yourself. You deserve better then someone that can't make up his mind. The kids and I are doing great now. I will be finished with school this May. My daughter is doing great with her soccer, dance and is a straight A student and my son thinks he is older then three. They keep me laughing. Him leaving me brought out the strong women in me. Women have been stepping up and providing for hundreds of years. Sad to say it's becoming more common then not. But when my daughter is at a award ceremony at school and she has the most awards for good grades and test scores and behavior then her peers... I find myself proud. Life goes on with or without him so you have to decide what life you want for your children. Please don't let your children think that it's okay for him to come back and forth like that. They deserve better and you don't want that cycle to continue with them. Children do what they see.

    Answer by Peacefully at 2:35 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Sounds like he has trouble with monogomy. I know breaking up sucks, but it would be great if you could move on and find a man that actually deserves your love. If a man can't decide whether or not he wants to be with you, then he's not really worth your time of day IMO.

    Answer by lowencope at 2:38 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • He wants a free pass to go f*** someone and then come back when he is ready. He'll use the excuse to "HER" that you need him, that he should be with his family, etc. when he is ready to leave her. He is a coward. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I would think long and hard about taking him back.. keep in mind future behavior can be determined by past behavior.
    P.S. sad but true.. People LIE about their love all the time, then blame it on confusion.. He'll come back to you with "I was scared because of the pregnancy".

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • So you know he's a runner and he has issues with commitment and taking responsibility like a man for the things in his life. Think of YOUR needs and the needs of your children and see if you really NEED this man or if you only think you this moment. Think into the future and imagine how it will be with him if there is no change in how he handles things.

    Answer by rio_burb at 4:20 PM on Jan. 2, 2010