Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 11 year old daughter talks back toomuch!! What would you do?

She is alwas talking back to me.The mommentshe gets up here ges her mouth . I have so much patience, but so much single mom can Take!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer Question
 
Diva123745

Asked by Diva123745 at 6:56 PM on Jan. 1, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • take things away... keep taking things away....take her door off the hinges...
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 6:58 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • I agree with the previous poster.

    I think it is important to sit her down and have a conversation about how she has been disrespectful lately. Talk to her about how it is important to be a good person and acting this way isn't how good people act. Find a way to make it really hit her. Use an example of someone she really doesn't care for.

    Then establish rules/guidelines that will help remind her how to become a better person.

    You have to take things away for a certain amount of time and stick to it. My brother has a three strikes rule. They basically have two warnings, if they do it a third, the ipod is gone, or the phone is gone until they can be polite for 24 hours. If they mess up at hour 13, clock starts over. If she doesn't have either of these things, figure out what she loves the most and take that away.

    Good luck,

    Cathy
    Bogey20

    Answer by Bogey20 at 7:08 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • I would have a talk to her about there being a difference between stating how you feel and being disrespectful. She should be allowed to voice her thoughts but in a respectful manner. I say until then she looses a privlege until she has an empty room, sleeping n a bed is a priv. Good luck
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 7:13 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • They need to know that this is a no-whining zone. You are the parent and they need to treat you with respect. No yelling, no talking back, no disrespect. I agree with the above. I make my 11 year old write 3 pages of "I will respect my mother" when he does it to me. Helps with his penship and his attitude writing it over and over for 3 solid pages. Worth a try. Good luck!
    momalicious132

    Answer by momalicious132 at 8:21 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • She's not too old for a good ass whoopin'. Put a lil leather in her life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Ignore irrevelant behavior. Don't argue with her. When she backtalks, just ignore her. Let her get that last word...it wont' kill you, but if you snip back...it shows her that she is getting the best of you and she "wins" ...this is where "ignoring irrevelant behavior" comes in! You can do it! It takes two to argue and the battle of the wills can stop if you just ignore her backtalking. She will soon tire of it! Then you can work on ways to improve it.
    CrazyCookie

    Answer by CrazyCookie at 10:17 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Each time she talk back, take important things she love away for a long time, make her respect you. If not the older she get, the worse she will be.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 11:31 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • I Agree with taking away things and privileges, but also I would caution you to try to get to the root of the problem. Whats going on in the big picture? Problems at school? Friends? Bullying? Grades? Is it hormonal? You said you are a single mom... is it an issue with her father or feeling neglected or unloved or rejected by him? Is there not enough time in the day for extra time for her?
    Last winter my yougest son was ........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr is the only word I can use. He was acting out, mouthing off, swearing and calling me names. He was becoming agressive and physical. His teachers all talked about what a great kids he is, just shy. Slowly I started getting peices of information. In the end it turned out my son was being very massively bullied and no one at his school was doing anything about it. Once we got the problem corrected and he knew he was being listened to the behavior corrected as well.
    Good Luck !
    lildudesmomma

    Answer by lildudesmomma at 7:04 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • She sounds hormonal. Could she be getting ready to start her period? I am sure that there is a reason for her changed behavior and perhaps you should try communicating and even talking to her dr. about it. Give negative actions a negative consequence. Talking back='s loss of time doing something she enjoys (bot NOT the loss of family time). Spanking her or taking her door off of it's hinges are way too extreme for an 11yo with an attitude.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.