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ex showed kids porn

my ex had overnight visitation with my 5 and 8 yr old. he now has supervised visitation for being irresponsible with them. (whole other story!) since this new arrangement i have found out that the kids saw porn. he "left" it out and they saw it. to what extent or frequency i dont know. he was abused as a kid and now i think the kids are a little too touchy feely with each other. am i being over reactive? where do i go from here? ill be calling a counselor on monday, they could use it anyway from other things he has done!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Jan. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • They will tell you where to go from here
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:41 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • you have the right idea. getting them into counseling is wonderful. have you thought about talking to the court and seeing what can be done? its totally irresponsible for them to be seeing porn at those ages. i hope that this didnt happen while there was a supervisor around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • this all happened before the supervised visitation started
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • I started watching porn around that age. Not because my father "left it out" but because my older sisters would get it and put it on while my parents were out of the house. I'm not a sexual deviant, and I don't have any emotional problems because of it. Take them to a counselor if you think it's necessary, but don't get yourself all stressed out. It's just porn, it's not going to ruin their lives.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 8:56 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • So he didn't show it to them. Thy found it? What kind of porn? Internet, movies, magazines?

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:00 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • It's not "just porn" when the kids are that young.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:01 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • it doesnt matter if he handed it to them or not. he was irresponsible. kids should not be exposed to that. i wasnt there so i dont know all the details. i dont want to grill the kids about it. but as far as i know it was magazines. he is very addicted to porn (one of the reasons i left) which isfine if thats what he wants but not around kids!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • Purposefully showing children sexual images at that age is a legal offense under many states' sexual misconduct guidelines. In PA it can be considered sexual abuse of a minor. If they found it, that's one thing. However, if you notice that they are touching each other, etc, in ways that you are uncomfortable with, there are a couple of things to know and/or do. One, it may be a good idea to get in touch with your lawyer- the supervised visits are there for a reason and you can let the court know that you want them to be aware of your concerns. Secondly, you can call the YWCA for some advice- there are advocates trained in this. The children's resource center is able to talk to chlldren about things like this as well. In addition, you can talk to your kids about good touching and bad touching, and let them know that it is okay to talk to you and ask you any questions that they want. It helps to show with a doll.
    sweetphoenix529

    Answer by sweetphoenix529 at 9:16 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • One of the hardest things for a parent is to face scruitiny, worry and the dangerous world all at once. I always tell parents that if they have a gut feeling, they are not overreacting. Even if friends and family think you're overreacting to a simple phase your kids are going through, it is much better to react to the suspecion, even mildly, than to ignore a "paranoid thought" that actually is something that's cause for alarm. Good luck!!
    sweetphoenix529

    Answer by sweetphoenix529 at 9:18 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

  • That is absolutely child abuse. To the poster that says "it's just porn", well, look what "just porn" does to adults. I mean really, educate yourself first then post.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:31 PM on Jan. 1, 2010

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