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i need help

My kids are driving me crazy. My 6 year old is a hydrocodriact my 5 yr old is mean and rude and if i spank at her she laughs at me in my face my 2 year old is a big baby and my 10 month old is whiney and demanding i mean this. I have been married for almost 6 yrs and my husband dont change diapers and he is only a dad when its convient!! I cry all the time i cant sleep and i think i am on the verge of a serious breakdown. Im not suicidal by any means im to the point that i want to run away and never look back but of course i love my kids to much!! Please help

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • mom cant take care of the family if mom isnt taken care of herself.. or something- cant remember the saying. but if you arent mentally able to handle (? not sure if thats the right word) the kids, it'll just get worse and worse. if you have a stable mind, they will feed off that, just like they feed off each other.

    hubby needs a good swift kick in the balls. lol ask him for help, or demand it. he's a dad- being a parent is never convinent but its what we gotta do. after a few years, people understand that, but it seems like your picking up his slack. stop doing his portion and make him do it.

    you can also PM me if you want to- i'm here for ya! Sorry i replied so many times. lol damn this character count thing! good luck mama. i hope you can find your peace soon!
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:16 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • have you talked to your doctor you could have post partum depression i was always feeling overwhelmed and was always crying and just feeling like i had no control and my dr put me on anti-depressants and they really helped
    TaiZombie

    Answer by TaiZombie at 12:28 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • You need a break - find something ANYTHING to do to get yourself away for even just a few hours (although a night or two away would be even better). Make sure the DH has everything he'll need for the kids and tell him you're going out. He'll figure it out. And appreciate you a hell of a lot more when you get back.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 12:29 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • You have a lot to deal with every day. You need to make sure you are giving yourself some time to breath and just have a break. Have you tried timeouts? Serious timeouts. Consistent timeouts. You are in charge there, not your kids. You are there to care for them and to train them to be contributing members of society. It takes a lot to do that. You may need a larger support network like preschool or playgroups or headstart to help you with this mission. I would also insist that dear hubby help with the parenting. You both decided to have these children not just you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Um, your the parent and you control your kids. Get them under control before it's tool late. If you can't handle four kids, why did you have more? And why did you keep having kids with a guy like that. Leave him, not your kids. And a two year old is a baby and they are going to be needy. And a ten month old is demanding because, guess what, IT'S A BABY!! I would think that after four of them you would know that by now. Please stop having children that your going to end up hating later on.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:30 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Oh and your child laughs at you because your loosing your mind and they can sense that. Spanking doesn't work. Timeouts do. Seriously, your the parent and need to start acting like it.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:31 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Ok notice in that i didnt mention that my older ones were as bad as my babies and they r good kids!!! i dnt knw what happened with the last 2!!! and yes 2 yr olds are needy but i want to make her not so needy and needed some advice on that so thanks sara for boosting my self confindence and helping the situation hense the sarcasm!!!! and y do i hae 4 ive always wanted a big family and ive always loved children just some where along the line it turned out to be really hard!! i use to love being a mom and now i ask myself y!! and timeouts dont work unless i stand there and then my 10 month old and 2 yr old fight!! so the one being punished in that is me and the baby!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • the more kids that you have, the harder is it to discipline them.. at least thats my opinion. i only have one- DS is 4, but i have a sister who is 4 as well. with DS alone- i can discipline him just perfectly. with my sis alone- i can do it somewhat good (she needs to be tested for adhd and austim)... but together? omg- they FEED off each other. when one is doing bad, the other sees how much fun it is and that one starts being bad. you discipline one, the other is off doing bad. discipline that one, the first one is doing bad. lol write down the rules of the house and STICK WITH IT! what are the rules for you? no fighting, no yelling, no jumping on the couch, etc. WRITE THEM DOWN so you can remember them and in the future, they can read it! when they do bad- stay on them. get a babysitter for the younger 2 if needed. timeouts are better but it also depends on the child.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:06 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • time outs dont work for my sister- neither does spankings. time outs are AMAZING for my son. he's more emotional, so all i really gotta do is let him know that i'm disappointed in his behavior and he'll shape up. you gotta find out what works for your individual kids. what works on the 6 year old might not work on the 5 year old.. but it MIGHT work on the 2 year old... or you might need a new plan for all 4 of them. for the 2 year old (the needy girl), find things for her to do herself... she might be jealous of the little baby and want to regress to that stage, but if you show her how much you love her being a big girl, she'll get into it.. example: if she's playing with herself, shower her with praise when she does- Carla, you're playing with the dolls all by yourself! thats a good job! i'm so proud of you. but make sure that you do spend time with her at certain times (make it a point to include her with something)
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:09 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • "your child laughs at you because your loosing your mind and they can sense that"<-- i'll have to agree with that. they are like dogs- they sense fear. they continue to push your buttons because they KNOW you will break- either from the way you are acting or because of past behavior.

    the 10 month old- give her (him..?) time. its still a baby. dont take the frustrations from the older child and add them on the baby's. not saying like physical frustrations, but i know if i get frustrated with my DS, i'll end up yelling at my sister and vise versa. the frustration adds up. find a way to calm yourself- whether its music, talking a walk, etc.

    for the hubby- go find time for yourself. you are a mother, a wife, a woman. you DESERVE this time by yourself. it can be anything- take a soothing bath if possible. go be YOU for a while, without the stress/worry/frustration of the family.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:13 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

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