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Mean children in a christian school?

My 9-year old daughter attends a small christian school. She is in a combined class of 4th and 5th graders with a total of 6 children in the class. The problem is with a 10-year old girl in her class. Last year they were fabulous friends until I found out that the girl showed my daughter porn on the internet during a playdate at her house. I called her parents and they grounded her for many months. Now it seems like all she does is pick on my daughter and turns the rest of the children away from being her friend. Because the class is so small, my daughter comes home crying all the time bc she has no friends. Moreover, she is an only child, so she really feels alone.

I have spoken with the teacher and princpal. The parents of the girl will no longer speak to me. I want to pull her from the school, but my husband is on the school board and is unwilling to do so. Any suggestions?


Asked by sonnalynn at 4:15 AM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (33 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • This is going to sound bad but my advice is to have your daughter simply tell her to back off and get over it or get a fist in the face.
    the problem will either end or you'll have to put her in another school. i think, i feel, that forcing her to put up with this is ridiculous. its harassment and defamation of character and with so few students there, you should be able to depend on the teachers to handle this and make sure it doesn't happen again. Especially since you are paying for her to go there.
    Another option is to simply have your daugther say something like "just because i told my mom about the naked people you like looking at on the internet is no reason to be mean to me." Sure it will let the cat out of the bag but it will estlablish what actually happened.
    Otherwise all you can do is sit back and watch her go through this. Private school students are by far the meanest kids around.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 1:09 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Is there another classroom she can be put in?

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:17 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Perhaps you need to find a new way for your daughter to make and have friends. Cause if this is the behavior of the little girl I don't think I would really care for her being one of my daughters only friends. ( sounds like your better off without as to having her) See what you can do in your area to get your child more involid with children her age.

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 4:21 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I have my sughter in Girl Scouts and dance class. She loves the girls there. She has asked to attend one of their schools, but my husband is adamant that she attend the christian school. Unfortunately, becuase the entire school is so small, there are no other classes for her to go into.

    I agree with you Shaqbe4u, this is not the type of friend I want my child to have.

    Answer by sonnalynn at 4:28 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I would tell my husband that the mental stability and happiness of my child is more important than her going to the school he is on the board of. He needs to do what is best for her, and going elsewhere sounds like it is what is best. She shouldn't suffer because he wants to save face.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:31 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I would get to know the parents of her friends in girls scouts and dance class. Perhaps set up play dates or get togethers. Let her become friends with some other children.( She ( your daughter) needs to see that not all other children are like the ones she's going to school with.) My SIL 2 boys went to a small christian school and would run into problems as well for children taken sides and things like this. They are 18 and 21 now and just don't seem to have alot of friends or make friends easy. Just my thoughts on it thou. Good Luck

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 4:37 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Since your DH is on the school's board, can he speak with the principal and/or teacher to get them to step in? Not only would this be doing a service for your DD, but it would also be doing a great service to the mean girl and the other children by providing them with a real life learning opportunity to "practice what they preach". Whatever happened to imparting Christian values, etc., etc. as part of the lesson plans? With there being only 6 children in the class, I'm sure the staff could come up with a number of fun & creative ways to incorporate into the curriculum and engage all of the children in lessons about friendship and forgiveness.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • My kids were in a private Christian school up until last school year but my oldest son was being bullied and teased and that is one of the reasons why we homeschool now.( along with many other reasons) I kept emailing, calling and writing letters to the teacher but she refused to do anything about it. Her thought process was, that since she couldn't see it or hear it, there wasn't anything happening. DUH!! What kid is dumb enough to pick on another kid in front of the teacher? Instead of sitting the kids down and getting to the bottom of it, she ignored it. Anyway, we homeschool now and since we go to church with these same kids, they still tease him, but it's not every day and he is handling it very well on his own. He has some close friends in the church as well as some other good friends outside the church in our homeschooling group and is doing much better now.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 7:44 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • A lot of really good advice on here. I would make sure my DH understood that either he steps up and DO SOMETHING about this or I will move her to another school no matter if he was on the school board or not. You have to look at the welfare of your daughter not HIS status on the board. If he is so proud of that position then he should use that opportunity to put in place better anti-bullying policies. This should not be happening in the first place in a class that is so small. Get mad and tell him to either get on board or move her to another school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 AM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Woman up and put your foot down !

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 AM on Jan. 2, 2010