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My 13 yr old was told at the beginning of summer that he would be able to go to the pool every day as long as he went straight to the pool and straight home. If he didn't he wouldn't get to go anymore. Well, he got pool privledges revoked. Now he's begging me to go with a group of friends. I still don't think that I should let him. Would you let him go?

Teens, privledges, let him go?

 
MamaJen74

Asked by MamaJen74 at 2:38 PM on Jun. 25, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 10 (419 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • i completely agree w/ the pp's. it will give him another reason to believe that he can get away w/ whatever it is he is doing wrong. escort him or tell him he can't go at all. and if you don't have the time to go then she is SOL.
    averiesmomma

    Answer by averiesmomma at 3:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Stick to your guns, mamma! If you already told him no, the answer should still be no. (Easier said than done!) If I was in your shoes, I'd have a hard time with this one too.
    bretsnag

    Answer by bretsnag at 2:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • No. Don't give in. But, you do need to come up with something for him to do to earn the privledge back, such as yard clean up or organizing the garage, something. He needs to realize it is a privledge, not a right. AND, we all know it is embarrassing at 13 to have your mom PICK YOU up when everyone else is walking. Maybe also suggest an adult dropping him off and picking him up.
    Fawn80

    Answer by Fawn80 at 2:43 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I agree with pp, answer is no.
    dizzymomof3

    Answer by dizzymomof3 at 2:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Absolutely not. If YOU want to escort him, that would be one thing, but he broke the rules so he should have to suffer the consequences. I know it would be easier to just let him go, but if you stick to your guns, it'll be that much easier to get the point across next time he earns a privilege.
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 2:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I am going to dissent a little & say it depends. If it has been a few weeks that he hasn't been allowed to go I would give him some different opportunities to show he can be responsible, if he does than I would have a discussion about how his responsible actions in other areas have earned him the right to have another chance at following the walk to the pool rules. With the firm understanding that the smallest slip will mean losing the privilege again. I find it most useful to put a time limit on lost privileges, for example 2 weeks & you can try again. Otherwise you eventually want to give in so they can have fun again.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 3:16 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • He already knew the rules of the game and he broke the rules therefore he has to live with the consequences. I know its tuff...but you got to stick to your guns on this one and not change the rules mid game.... (especially AFTER they have been broken otherwise what was the point of having the rules)
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 3:28 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • No Jen I wouldn't. Well I say I wouldn't, but I usually give in hehehe. But you don't want him thinking he can get away with things, but maybe you can get something out of it like.. If he watches the kids while you and DH get to go out or if he helps clean?
    vincenzio101407

    Answer by vincenzio101407 at 3:29 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • if you give in, you will regret it. Trust your gut girl.
    ChasesMommy0115

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 12:20 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • It depends on how long it's been. Has he done anything to re-earn the privelege? If so, I think you should let him go, but also let him know that if he breaks the rules again, there won't be anymore second chances.
    monicamomof6

    Answer by monicamomof6 at 2:58 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

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