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Why is the woman always blamed?

I have a friend whos husband was caught having an affair. She blames the other woman. She says that if it wasnt for the OW then her husband would have never strayed. I think that no matter who it was this man would have strayed. It is ultimately HIS CHOICE!! He is the one who broke his vows, not the OW. Yes, she is in the wrong, but why is she the one who is made to take the ultimate responsibility? Why do the husbands get off scott free. Why do women forgive them and vilify the OW? I dont care how much someone is coming on to the man, if he is truly happily married he will not stray. And when and if he does, it is not the OW complete fault. Wives need to remember that the OW did not take the vows, their husbands did.

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Asked by jajumommy2000 at 12:38 PM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (99 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • It is easier to cast the blame on someone you don't love. If the woman loves her husband, then it is so much harder to blame him. Someone you have trusted and whom you depend on, it's extremely difficult to feel that he would have betrayed you.

    Answer by Bmat at 12:40 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • My opinion on the matter is that they do it because they want to forgive the person they pledged to be with for better or for worse but they are still very angry and need to blame somebody. The OW is the easier target of the two. The one I don't understand is when they blame the other woman when the other woman didn't know the guy was married.

    Answer by Krysden at 12:46 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Hey,My dh is a cheater and I was so mad at him. He has suffered his payback~and I was around to see it!
    You don't think I have the right to be pissed at the OW,who knew that this man was married and still went WAYY outta her way to follow his huge d**k from coast to coast????? Give me a break!
    The OW is just as much to blame as the married man or vise versa. You really seem to identify w/the OW,weird.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I would blame my hubby and not the other woman. She did what she was supposed to do: tempt him. He should have resisted. Stuff happens in the daytime, nighttime and basically is well planned. The more happily we're married, the more we'll both be tempted. This is a fact of life, no more no less. The sooner I find out, the sooner I can stop wasting my time, life and move on.

    Answer by Ewadun at 1:33 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • They are both equally wrong. The both could have stopped it, they both knew what they were doing, they BOTH knew they were hurting people.

    Answer by SandraB383 at 1:44 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I had a friend like that and she would not allow anyone to say her husband was wrong it was always that woman if she had not tricked or lied to my poor innocent husband. It was sad because in the end she was not the only woman he cheated with. But she would never blame him or make him take responsibility


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:18 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • He broke his vows. The OW just went along for the ride.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:31 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • They are both in the wrong but he is the one who broke his vows. My dad did this to my mum and i blame both equally her for allowing it to happen while he was married and him for even thinking about it and then following through, both wrong both scum!

    Answer by Aussiemum85 at 2:48 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I always blame the man. call me sexist.

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 3:49 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I blame the man too. Cheating is a choice. I've been relentlessly pursued by married men. I always told them, call me when you have divorce papers in hand.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

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