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Is this rude?

A coworker had a party for her daughter’s 5th birthday. She invited the entire preschool class and all of her coworkers with kids. Most of the coworkers who attended had children 3 and younger. The party was from 11-2 at a park. She had one tray of chicken nuggets, individual bags of chips, bottled water and juice boxes. The problem is she didn’t even have enough food for half the people there. When she started serving lunch she told a couple of the moms the food was only for the kids, not the parents and asked them to spread the word. Even though most of the parents didn’t eat (a couple of them never got the message and fixed themselves plates) there wasn’t enough food for all the kids. When one of the moms asked her if she had more food she just said, “Don’t worry about it, they can have cake later.”


Asked by maxswolfsuit at 1:53 PM on Jan. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (28)
  • When you plan a party, especially a large one you need to make sure you have enough food for everyone. It sounds like she just invited a lot of people for the presents.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 3:45 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • She never apologized or said anything about it to any of us. We left early (we waited till after cake and presents) and she went back to work and complained that we didn’t stay for the whole party.
    Obviously I don’t think I was the rude one.
    What would you have done?

    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 1:53 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • What would I do? Not be her friend. She sounds like way to much work.

    Yes I agree it was rude of her not to provide enough food for at least all of the children. I provide enough for everyone attending but at least cover the kids. Cake is not a substitute for lunch.

    You stayed thru cake and gifts; and obviously food & some playtime; I'd say you put in your effort; she's a drama queen who wants all the attention on her. Forget her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Food shouldnt be the most important thing at a birthday party, but for kids it is a HUGE one. If she was providing food, she should have had enough for all parents and kids to eat. I do think its a bit rude to only feed some people. She could have made it a potluck if she didnt want to foot the entire bill, but so many people may not have shown up. Cake is not a substitute for food, especially for such young kids. I probably would have done what you did, just suck it up through the cake and presents and then leave. If she bad mouths you later for it, thats her problem, not yours. You had to get some real food into your kids' bellies.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 2:06 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • omg, you are seriously THAT petty? jeez.... ever take into account that she may not have been expecting as many people as attended, or that her original plans fell through and she had to fudge it?

    you're honestly making a mountain out of a mole hill, it was a party, not everything worked out- the world does not end.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 2:06 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Posting a question is making a mountain? I didn't call the 6 o'clock news!



    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 2:08 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • It's rude. If she didn't plan to feed everyone she should have stated on the invite that children would be the only ones served.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • If she didn't have enough money to feed everyone she should not have invited so many people.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:16 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • maybe she didn't expect the parents to stay, the kids are 5, they are not 3 anymore. I hated when the parents decided to stay, a couple is fine, but not all of them, expecially if they have siblings with them. Whey my kids were really little and I stayed a the parties, I didn't expect to eat at all, I just assumed that the food was for the kids. Birthday parties are expensive and alot of work, why do you have to feed the parents and their siblings. Some parents need to stop hovering over their kids.

    Answer by staceynoel at 2:19 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • The woman throwing the party is the one being petty coming back later; hey I know I planned a party over the entire course of the lunch period of the day and didn't provide food for you or your child but I expected you to sit there with growling stomaches the entire 3 hours. Why didn't you stay? The invite said til 2 I can't believe you left at 1 etc...that's being petty and making a mountain out of a molehill - the OP is simply asking for other POV's.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Jan. 2, 2010