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I am so angry!! What would you do?

Let me start by saying my ds visitation with his dad is court ordered and I have no control over it. He just got back from his week visit and he has said everything from mf to f-in s*^$, and f-in (female dog). I have told him that we don't say that and I haven't heard it since. He was standing in my living room rambling these words out of his mouth and shaking his hands. I was told that I am to have little to no contact with his father. We broke up because he was violent and abusive (also an alcoholic) and a judge gave him partial custody of ds. One weekend a month and a week after christmas and week in summer. I don't know what to do as it is too late to appeal court's decision. I am concerned about what goes on over there. When I call I only get a teary "momma" from ds. What can I do to stop it. Ds says "daddy gets mad and loud all day ." My boyfriend and I are quiet people and we argue sensibly (if we do).

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Asked by TinkTink205 at 3:05 PM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Let me add that my boyfriend is very angry and I'm doing everything in my power to keep him from going over there and tearing my ex to pieces. He is telling me I have to do something....but what?

    Answer by TinkTink205 at 3:08 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Can you get an guardian ad lightem? I think you need to call CPS and have them investigate the home, you CAN reverse the judges order, but you are going to have to get the agencies involved in it! I am soo sorry I can't imagine how you feel, but I would do anything in my power to get this to stop, where is ex's parents? Surely they don't want their grandson exposed to violence etc..... Good luck!

    Answer by kimigogo at 3:12 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • My ex's parents are supposed to supervise the visits and that's why I don't understand...unless he was into it with his parents. My ds grandma has admitted that he is rough and she can't handle him sometimes......but she would deny it later. Her son is always right and I don't think she is best to supervise. His visits started in a children's home and he cursed me right in front of the supervisor and she still approved his private visits.

    Answer by TinkTink205 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Write everything down and use your sons words exactly where possible. You can have the visitation modified by going back to court, situations change, a court order is never set in stone. If your son has a law guardian call him/her first thing monday morning and tell them what is happening. Unfortunately you will probably have to have more than the swearing, my ex did numerous things that bordered on neglect and even though I called CPS I had to keep sending DS there or be in contempt of the order until it got bad enough to change the order. Good luck momma, stay strong and you can do something.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 3:25 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Time to video tape the child when he is doing those things. I am wondering if you could get some advice from an attorney. If you can't afford one, maybe legal aide could do it? I know there are always two sides to a story, but if you are really concerned about possible abuse, I think you need to contact someone.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 5:02 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

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