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I'm so upset..."other woman" question here...what to do?

Okay, well I know what to do, I need to leave, that's a given. But I really could use some support here and how to handle my emotions before I snap. Literally. I am not a violent person and although the thought of slashing her tires or bashing in her windshield is tempting, jail time isn't what i'm looking kids would miss me.

MY NSO(non significant other) and i went to the grocery store today. When i got into his truck I noticed this little mini rock salt snowball in a cute little plastic case sitting in his little "Knick knack holder in the middle of the seats". So i ask him "did your little girlfriend give this to you at work?" he laughs at me. He says "it's like a dollar or something". For christmas she gave him a hoodie jacket and she also brings him sandwiches and baked goods her room mate bakes.

I'm so stressed right now, I am trying NOT to cry but I can't help it.(cont)


Asked by CinderAmethyst at 5:48 PM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (30 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Anon :40 - what does it matter if they are sleeping together? They are exchanging gifts (a token of affection, much different than secret santa stuff) and he didnt bother correcting her when she called "the other woman" his little girlfriend. At the least, its an emotional affair, which is just as devastating... but what prompts her to believe they are sleeping together is that she hasnt slept with him in months... so he just goes home to have a place to sleep, whereas his heart and his manhood are with the GF.

    to OP - stay strong... if you slash her tires or beat her face in (which, I know you're sorely tempted) remember HE gets the kids and they will be around "the other girl". Yikes. Just throw his ass out - I agree w/ PheonixFire 100%. He screwed it up, he should be the one to leave. Tell him so and if he doesnt comply then throw his shit out and change the locks while he's gone.

    Good luck!!

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 7:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • please don't bash here. I just feel like such an ass for staying with him so long and now that I want to leave I can't. I have to find a job daycare and save some money first.

    I just can't believe she is doing this. They HAVE to be sleeping together. don't you think? And he's her supervisor, it's inappropriate. How do those of you with cheating spouses/bf's get through this??? I"m ready to fall apart here.

    I've started a support group two weeks ago, 8 members strong but even a group leader has a meltdown ya know. the strongest of women need to cry too.

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 5:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • First of all, you need to not be blaming HER. She is not in a relationship with you, HE is. So your anger is misguided, you need to be angry at HIM.
    I cannot tell you what to do, but obviously you need to kick him to the curb and get your ducks in a row so you can support yourself. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I know how you feel, I've been there. Honestly, you need to be mad at HIM. Yeah, she probably knows about you and is a stupid skank, but he's just eating this up. If he really truly cared for you, he would be with only you. Your jealousy and the fact that he's sleeping with 2 women that cater to his every need is just making his day. He probably feels like such a big shot right now. I think you should tell him that he's a pig and find someone who deserves you. (((HUGS)))


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • he's a douche for not leaving you before it started, or even afterwards. does he think he can keep you both? show this buttmunch he needs to get his act together and make sure he falls flat on his face. make HIM leave! you didn't do anyting wrong you have no business leaving. you deserve better than being treated like a doormat, like a given, as if you're never going to leave no matter what he does. He acts this way because you never make him face any consequences. Trust me, I know about this. until he gets punished for his actions, just like a little kid, he's going to keep doing it. he expects you to stay because it's what you have done up till this point, prove him wrong! kick him out!

    Answer by mhaney03 at 5:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • For goodness sakes don't have any more sex with him. There's no telling what the skank is giving him. Go look for a job and day care. If you have family or friends near by go stay with them till you can get on public assistance. Go take some classes and you can put your child in daycare at the college. You don't HAVE to stay with him. Plan it out. Even if you have family that is far off, I bet they would glady help you out. Good luck Mama

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:00 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • You could also go over his head and let his big bosses know that he's a supervisor sleeping with an employee.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • It's both their faults, it's just my anger is directed more at her than him because she knows what she is doing is wrong and she doesn't care she keeps doing it. Him on the other hand instead of saying "no thank you" to the gifts takes them and then on top of all this asked me to order a gift for her online from my WAH business. The nerve!

    I know what you are saying anon :53, and you are right, I'm just upset right now and truth be told i probably have given that same advice to someone on here too. It's just when your in it, you want to attack someone for hurting you ya know?

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 6:03 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • ((hug))
    I am so sorry. I am a mother of two kids who has been w/the same guy for 14 years.I posted on here about my own situation and I got little to no support. I mean,okay,there is the leave the assho** bunch that don't really have a clue because they either have not gone through it or their dh is doing and they are living in the blissful dark. My dh and I moved from the southwest to the midwest and one of his bimbos followed us here. No. They don't have any babys together either-somebody told me that no ow would ever do such a thing w/o having children w/a married man but I know w/o a doubt.
    Once I knew where to find dh's little girl~she had to be hardly legal! I wanted to strangle her but I did not. The pain is horrific it's that kind that cuts off the air and chokes at your throat.
    Yeah,don't do it. Find an outlet. When it happened to me I started doing all sorts of things that I loved. I took riding lessons.GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • oh we haven't had sex in months, so no worries here, and i'm kinda glad for that little blessing. :)

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 6:03 PM on Jan. 2, 2010