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I think maybe I don't like being in a relationship?

There's no question that my SO is the perfect man for me, and I adore him, I just get annoyed with relationship-y things so easily. I was a single by choice for 2 years before I met him (dates here and there but i was quick to find fault and move on) and I just wonder if maybe I don't want to be in a relationship. For the most part it was just so much easier to be on my own, maybe not money wise, but money isn't everything.

I don't know what to do about it, I fear telling him that I'm at all unhappy because it would devastate him, more and more he's been looking at houses and talking about us moving in and getting married this spring. I don't think he's got the slightest clue I'm unhappy.

I don't want to hurt him, and it's really not him or anything he did, he's a total angel, i think i just want to be alone.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think it would devastate him a lot less to find this out now than after he devotes more time and effort into this and actually buys a house. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel, but you can't lead him on.

    Answer by mandaday at 8:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Your wasting his time he could be out there finding his real woman, your just selfish!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • You need to speak up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • There is know way around not hurting his feelings. Just Tell him you do not want to be with him.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:19 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Maybe you need to go into therapy to work on your issues. You need to be honest with him and quit stringing him along like a puppet.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:22 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Wow, be true to yourself - you may still be in your selfish phase of life or maybe he is scaring you with all the house talk. Either way you have to let him know before it goes too far and he proposes or something. Ask him if you guys can take a step back and regroup. Be honest about your feelings and respectful of his. If he still wants to be in your life then he will be crushed but will try to make it work even if it means being friends for a while or indefinitely. If you continue in this you will eventually start to turn on him for your unhappiness. Be honest and don't keep putting it off; it sounds like you know that you prefer to be single at this point or maybe he just isn't the guy for you.

    Answer by 1st_LadyD at 8:26 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Just tell him he's moving to fast for you and to slow it down. Let him process that before you move on to tell him that you don't want to be in a relationship. Baby Steps but start somewhere so he won't keep thinking Happily Ever After

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:28 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I feel the same way sometimes. I just want to be alone sometimes. lol I would tell him now before he goes any further. But just be sure it's what you really want.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

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