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Will this make me a bad person?

I have wanted a divorce for a few years but could never do it, I love my husband more then anything but the issues we have that we cant solve have only gotten worse and now i think its time to file. The issue i run into is My husband is in the military he has recently been sent to the brig for 12 mths. we lost all pay and a fine. We have 2 kids and bills. I dont work, still tryn to find a job and I am going to get by fine but I had to sell his car and will more then likely lose mine soon.

Is it wrong of me to tell him i am going to file while he is in the brig or should i wait till he gets out.i think its better to tell him now because he has time to deal with everything at once and not come home to find it out and be crushed again.
Should i try one more time to make it work when he gets out or tell him now or when he gets out

Please no hate its already a hard time

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If you are ready, then go for it. You have grounds for divorce.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • You got to do what you got to do, he obviously didn't think of you or the kids well being when he got sent to the brig, I'd def talk to him about it though.
    I know some will say through thick and thin but through homeless and penniless does not thick and thin make
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Leave him while he is locked up. It will be easier that way.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:38 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Actully thinking of us got him sent to the brig. he dealed to something he didnt do because if it went to court he would have gottn alot longer there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • he still got sent to the brig what did he think would happen!?!?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • What's the brig? and what is your reason for wanting a divorce?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • you cant be the only one trying to make it work, and thats what it sounds like. a good husband is going to provide for him family in a way that isn't going to get him imprisoned, even if it means working at burger king and being on public assistance for awhile. file and be done with it. hes in jail... what kind of example is that to your kids?
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 8:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • So much for no hate huh.... I like the idea of letting him get over everything at once, but talk to him about everything first tell him its something you thought about, I dont know if you have told him before that it was something on your mind but talk about it before its done.

    My husband is mil. and i have seen my fair share of people go to the brig to help the family, so i understand you. But you need to do whats best for you in the long run, if you are close, you can help each other out when he gets out.
    mommadent

    Answer by mommadent at 8:51 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I know everyone believes in different things but I really believe that marriage is for better or worse. I don't say that flippantly because I have been through a whole lot in my marriage and I keep going back to my vows and I am so glad I stayed when I could have walked away and been right to do so in a lot of peoples eyes.

    I don't believe that you can't work through whatever is going on, it doesn't mean you stay and be abused or watch him abuse himself, you may have to walk out and create some space in order to work through your issues but marriage is a whole lot of work. You said you love him and if you didn't care about his feelings you would have already filed. Not to mention the children, I think you owe it to your family to do whatever it takes to save your family. Women always have to be strong. Use this time to get yourself in a good place so that when he get's out you are a new woman and can start fresh
    1st_LadyD

    Answer by 1st_LadyD at 8:58 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Would it be better to stay married to him and get housing and benefits (Not being mean, I really don't know)? If so, then maybe you can stay married to him until he's about to get out. Do what is best to get by for as long as you can. Keep in mind the recession isn't over yet so getting a job isn't that easy. I remember when my x went to prison. I told him about the divorce when they sent him away bc he was abusive and I didn't want him beating me up. By the time he got out he was calmed down.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:01 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

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