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It drives me nuts when people think they know military!

My husband is deployed right now and my cousins are constantly trying to tell me how I should act. They are constantly telling my how the military is and how life is. Grant it their husbands are military (one army one navy) but my husband is Marines. The navy wife is telling me how hard life is. She even tried talking me out of getting married to him! Its not the same though! her husband is gone for nine months with 6 months off then nine back on. My husband has a 6 to 2 job and doesnt work weekends! He is deployed now and I had written a status update saying a song lyric then I miss you Tim. This family wrote all sorts of stuff like you married a military guy stop whining! I was furious! what can i not miss my husband? and i wasnt whinning! I was sending love! ugh! sorry i just needed to vent

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Asked by LilMamaC08 at 10:17 PM on Jan. 2, 2010 in Just for Fun

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Answers (14)
  • of course you are allowed to miss your hubbs :(
    hope you see him soon!

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 10:20 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I can't not imagine what a military wife goes thru, there give up their husbands for OUR freedoms. They are often overlooked heros as well.

    Answer by ronjwake at 10:22 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I know what you mean. My dh "recruited" my brother in law to join the Army since dh is Army now. Dh got a bonus and everything for it. But anyway, dh has a 14 year military career and BIL just joined 3 years ago. Well, right after BIL joins and they get stationed in Germany, she all of the sudden knows it all and tries to tell me things that I know are wrong. Just because she goes to a couple of FRG meetings, she's an expert on all things military.

    You keep on missing your hubby and expressing it! I know how you feel though, you feel that you shouldn't cry and complain because you married military. Well, you know they are going to deploy but it doesn't make it any easier. I cry like a baby when I drop my husband off for deployment today just like I did the first time I dropped him off 9 years ago. ((hugs))


    Answer by all4mymarine at 10:29 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • "she" I mean my sister!

    Answer by all4mymarine at 10:30 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I missed my husband like crazy and he was only gone for basic and A school. (He's reserves.) I can't even begin to imagine the stress of having him gone for that long in the dangerous situation that all deployed service men seem to be in any more. It is really scary depending on where they get deployed to. You have every right to post whatever you need to to find the support that is REQUIRED in such situations. If someone else doesn't respect that, then they obviously have no idea exactly how hard it is and how much strength you have to find in yourself to live such a life. My husband was only gone for four months. It was miserable for me. And yes, I wanted to cry and just have someone hold me and tell me it was all going to be okay.
    I'm guessing you are going through that and then some. Vent all you need to. You have every right in the world. After all it is YOUR dh who has enlisted to serve OUR great nation. Tell him TY.

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 10:32 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • I too know how you feel. My ex was active for 14 yrs, the last 6 he was Green Beret. It's amazing how many "experts" there are out there. Although there is a bit of difference in the different branches...things are tough for ANY military spouse. Just try and let the comments slide off, there are a lot of women (in my opinion) that think life is only hard for them. Believe me...I met a lot of them. (the civilians are the worst) lol
    keep your chin up hon, it doesn't get much better over time...but dealing with it does get easier.

    Answer by daisy521 at 11:03 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Vent away, I know what it's like - I've been in your shoes, only Army (though my Husband was in the Marines before winding up in the Army, long story). But no matter how long or short other branches go away for, it's just as hard for everyone and we all deal or have dealt with it just like you do.

    Answer by ajtherad at 11:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Army wife here (or used to be before hubby had his heart attack and they wouldn't let him re-enlist.) I don't care how long your husband has been in the Army, you'll constantly be learning new things, because they're always changing their regulations!!!

    You have every right to miss your husband!! Everyone else can just kiss your foot. No one has the right to tell you how to feel, or how NOT to feel!!


    Answer by debra_benge at 11:29 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Wow, any military wife should be allowed to say they miss their husbands no matter HOW long the deployment is for or how often they are deployed. My DH has been in for 12.5 years and there is no way I think I know everything about the military or even presume to tell other wives how they "should" feel while their dh is deployed. If you need to vent, there's a lot of military wives groups here on CM. One of the best ones I've found is this one:

    But don't let the ones who are telling you to "quit whining" affect you.


    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

  • Thanks for the group link, April!

    Answer by ajtherad at 11:52 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

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