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Parenting Styles

Do you have people who disagree even in front of your children with the way you raise them? Do you have people undermine you even if you told your child no. The people that I know do not whatsoever have anywhere near my style of parenting. I am a very strict mommy. But, sometimes I think strict moms are sometimes misunderstood. And even leintent moms are also. I respect all sort of types. I beleive that is what makes mommyhood beautiful..each mom has her own way. Everyone that I know is EXTREAMLY leinent. Again, nothing wrong with that at all.. I just dont feel it is right for me. But they always have something to say about the way I raise my child. They always have a compliant or if I tell my child do not..they say go ahead!. I rarley allow this, but when I stop it I get the. "he's a baby! let him do this its what babies need"..when I know in my own home they dnt even think about it. How do you handle this? Any advise?Thanx

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Jan. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Stand your ground dear. I'm one tough cookie and my children love me for it. Even when they are not happy with my decision they still know that my reasons are sound. When other people try to intervene I put them in their place real quick. I tell them that they have no business contradicting my orders to or in front of my children.
    always_chris

    Answer by always_chris at 1:27 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • You just have to be firm when necessary and also know when to be a little relaxed in social situations. I expect alot out of my son, but i dont think im strict. He has a limited set of clear rules he has to follow, and otherwise we go with the flow. Around parents that are way more relaxed, nothing pisses me off more when i say no to a snack or a toy, and, immediately after, they will say something like, "oh! just let him have it!" This gives me son the idea that My word isnt the final say, which it is as far as he is concerned. I dont even do that with my husband.. i think its undermining and weird. My mother does it all the time, to the point where i have to yell at her in front of my son. Sounds primitive and stupid, but its a dominance thing. But like i said, you have to be relaxed as well, because your kid will resent you if every other kid is indulging in something and he/she is left out.
    redderbedder

    Answer by redderbedder at 1:28 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • What i say when im in the situation is some like, "(My son or husband) and I talked about this earlier. This isnt something hes allowed to do/have." If they keep it going after that.. theyre weird.
    redderbedder

    Answer by redderbedder at 1:29 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Two things I do when I get unwanted parenting advice: first ask yourself if you think there is any merit to what they are saying. If you decide there is any validity to their opinion, you may want to make a few small changes there. However if you think that what they are saying is wrong, or at least wrong for you, all you can really do is disregard them... and, depending on the relationship, let them know how you feel by saying something like "I know this works for you, but what works for my son is when I do 'x, y, z' and I'm not going to fix what isn't broken!" HTH a bit!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 10:09 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • There is nothing beautiful about punishing a small child or any child for that matter. There is nothing beautiful about taking a child for just their behavior without looking at their thoughts and feelings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I dont listen to anyone. Especially my mother and grandparents. they are the type who lets there grand children whatever they want when they want and eat junk. The last two times we visited them, they told me to not put my kids in time out and my grandma looked like she wanted to cry because she heard my oldest crying because i told her No. my husband even sees how they are with my kids. and how my daughter refuses to listen to ME or him when we are near the family. If i say NO it means NO. they try to give them food behind my back they dont eat or unhealthy stuff. i am strict mom too and i dont care what people say either.
    aeroslove

    Answer by aeroslove at 3:19 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • first off. I dont understand the 5th answer... I never said anything about punishing my kids, I am a strict mom but my kids are happy and healthy. I cant stand it when you say no and people try to sneak crap and do it anyway. It puts you in a bind. My kids eat extremely healthy, And many people for some reason think that is bad. What..giving your child the right start on foods and eating habits is wrong bc i dont want my son to have the best start as possiable?? lol.. idk.. it just seems that it creates family strain when you stand firm to what you beleive in. but then, shouldnt the family love you enough and or at least respect you are mom and what you say goes??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

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