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Totally unmotivated..

Ok so I am one of THOSE stay at home moms that never cleans. It isn't that I don't know I need to or that I don't want to keep my house clean. I am just lazy and can come up with any excuse to not clean, or any distraction. Cleaning is sooooo not fun, and I was wondering if there are tricks to make it fun or to help motivate me. I hate being this way I just can't figure out a way to quit. I feel horrible that my DH gets up early on his weekend and cleans the whole house. I am a terrible wife in that way but that even isn't enough to get me to do it. PS I had parents that made me do all household chores from the time I was 10 til I moved out, and I guess it is a bit of the whole I don't have to immature attitude coming out. Bash if you must but help if you can.


Asked by truealaskanmom at 3:54 AM on Jan. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,701 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • I suffer from Bipolar Disorder and it is very dfficult to get motivation to clean sometimes. I put on my sweats, turn up loud music (rock n roll), light some candles to make the house smell good, put my hair in a pony tail and go to town cleaning. Sometimes I spend only 15 minutes in a room at a time, but at least something gets done. Have you ever tried FlyLady? She is motivational and will help just 15 min. at a time.

    Answer by CoCoMom89 at 8:08 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • It could be depression, maybe you need to check out a motivation med. Also, Exercise is a great way to get motivated. I am 7 months preg and I am not motivated at all but I know that after this kid comes out I will be all over. Not to in a hurry right now to exercise. Hope all is good. Also express this with your husband and maybe he can help motivate you with out him putting you down or depressing you.

    Answer by eDrivenBios at 4:02 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I don't think it is depression I have been this way since we moved in together. Can't take any meds because I too am pregnant. Exercise can help, but I guess I am hoping there is some way to make it more appealing so I am not so turned off by it. My DH and I do talk about it and he tries to motivate me but it usually pisses me off. I guess I just don't like feeling like I have to do something. I have issues from being the only 'adult' in my house growing up. Thanks though I appreciate the time you put into your answer.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:12 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I am glad I'm not the only one who is not motivated to clean house. I've NEVER liked cleaning. It seems as though it has gotten worse since I gave birth 3 months ago. I work 12 hour nights and I usually just want to relax on my days off. I look around and know it needs cleaning, but I choose to ignore it. I wish I wasn't this way. Good luck to you.

    Answer by NursyLori at 4:45 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Hello, my name is Julie and I too am an unmotivated housecleaner. I have given up the fight!! I do the basics, laundry,& dishes, but my floors are disgusting (I have no crawling kids) and the bathroom can sometimes smell like urine (3 males with poor aim-lol) I go to groups here that are supposed to motivate you but as of yet there has been limited positive results. And unlike many of you I am not pregnant nor have I been in the recent past. my baby is 10.

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 4:59 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • LOL I am so glad I am not the only one, I think my Dh thinks that he is the only one with a shitty housekeeper for a wife. LOL thanks guys.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 5:02 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Can I offer some perspective? DH is a SAHD, and I often work 50 hours a week to support us. My husband is like you with the housework. So after working all day I have to look all over the house to find the dishes so I can clean them, so I can cook dinner. My evenings and weekends are spent cleaning and doing chores instead of spending time with DH or the kids or, God forbid, spending a little time doing something relaxing. It breeds resentment, kills the sense of partnership, and makes me feel disrespected because he seems all too fine with letting me handle it since he doesn't feel like it, not caring if I don't feel like it either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • My husbands did the housework and worked outside the home. Both my daughters have a long term live in bf who works outside the home and cleans house. I hate housework. I assume my daughters do as well or I taught them to be lazy. Either way, if the guy doesn't complain, who cares who gets it done? Now that I live alone I'm forced to do it myself but I don't make much of a mess like when the kids were small. I just try to clean as I go and it makes it easier on me. So I make the bed as soon as I get up and I wash the dishes as soon as a meal is finished and take the garbage out every evening after dinner, wash the tub after I get out. That seems to be working for me. It's still not fun but it gets done.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I can definately be this way from time to time. The only thing that helps me is to write a to-do list and hold myself accountable.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:38 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Get your friends together for a Clean-A-Round! You trade off houses, and one person watches all the loose kids while the others do a deep-down-mega-clean job. It gets the job done and it's fun!

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:06 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

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