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I said his name in my sleep!

Two nights ago DH woke me up in the middle of the night mad saying I was talking in my sleep. I said ok, and rolled over. I had CRAZY dreams that night. I woke up to him staring at me in the morning. He looked kind of mad, and I said, "You weren't very nice to me in my dreams last night!" He said, "What else did you dream about?" I was confused, asked why. He told me I said, "Oh Steve. That feels good..." in a moan. That is my ex!

I don't have feelings for Steve, but how do I explain this? I don't even remember dreaming about him! I feel terrible. At first I was mad that he was making a big deal about it, but then I took a shower and I KNOW I'd be pissed too! I know I would But at the same time it's ridiculous to be mad about what someone dreamed... RIGHT?

How would you handle this????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Jan. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • uh... I have no idea... Wow. Sorry.

    Answer by christaberk at 10:26 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Tell him you understand why he's mad and let it blow over. It's not like you even remember it.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:27 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • It's hard not to be mad at something like this but it is silly at the same time. My SO and I have had the same kind of arguments, IMO, the best thing you can do is say sorry and let him get over it in his own time.


    Answer by Cindy18 at 10:34 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Yeah, I was completely honest. I said that I was upset that he was taking it seriously, but after thinking about it, and inserting his ex's name... I'd be VERY upset. The only difference is I know what I'm thinking, so I know it is innocent... I don't know what he's thinking. Which is what he's going through. Sucks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I often have dreams about previous bf's and stuff, and because dreams are just unconscious thoughts, there is no rhyme or reason as to why we completely dream the things we do and what kinds of things happen. If I have a totally off the wall dream I like to go check it out in a dream dictionary. I think there are some available free online. Sometimes the answer it gives, even though don't completely believe in that kind of stuff can help give me a little insight.
    On that note, perhaps subconsciously your ex was on your mind for some reason or another while you were awake for the day, and perhaps you were thinking about your husband before bed and being intimate. These things all come together in dreams. I know for instance if i have a sex dream, I never have penetration, so to me even my dreams know where to draw the line. I am sure hubby has had sex dreams involving other woman, he just hasn't spoke in his sleep.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 10:36 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I'm sorry but thats so funny .... not for you of course, but I can totally understand how it could happen!! He obviously knows that you have no control over your dreams so just wait it out ... I'm sure in like a month or so you will laugh about it..... OR

    In like two nights when he wakes up in the morning tell him he said his ex's name while he was moaning... he'll never know the difference right? haha

    Answer by kaylan010 at 10:36 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • lol kaylan. I know it's kind of funny. I get that. It still just sucks. lol Especially because my ex and I are still good friends. If DH asked me never to talk to him again, I would. It wouldn't hurt me too much. I'd say, eh, oh well. I just know how pissed(even if it's silly) if he said his ex's name. Especially since its not a common name like Steve. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Honestly, I have dreams about other men all the time lol Strangers, ex boyfriends and sometimes hubby and sometimes all them all in the same night, same dream. Crazy stuff.

    Just the other night I had a dream that my ex boyfriend from like 10th grade was looking over at me and smiling and I got all excited in my dream because he still noticed me and liked me! lmao Stupid dream. I dreamed not long ago that I was in a sexual situation with my ex husband. My ex husband is sooooo fat and ugly and nasty now, there is NO way EVER that I would want to be in any kind of situation with him but I dreamed that for some reason. It happens!

    Some people have more vivid dreams than others. Maybe you should find an article on dreams and have him read it, especially if he's not the kind that has frequent vivid dreams lol He'll get it over it soon enough though.

    Answer by all4mymarine at 12:11 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Most people speak gibberish in their sleep so I'd be leary of believing you spoke a completed sentence no matter whose name you may or may not have blurted out. You cannot help who you dream about. Maybe the pool boy's name is Steve. Maybe you watched a movie with a guy named Steve in it before you went to bed. Maybe the news talked about Steve Martin in his new movie. This has nothing to do with your ex.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:25 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I believe dreams are your subconcious talking.
    You were probably just reliving an old memory in your dream and that's where that stemmed from.
    Your husband has a right to be curious, but it's a little much to be mad about a dream that you can't control.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:47 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

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