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my boyfriend cheated on me

my boyfriend and i been together for over 2 years now.and he met a girl off the my year book site and he cheated on me with her.the worst part is she got pregnant.i cant have kids cause i got my tubes tied i would love to have his kids this is what he always wanted.im so confused.i love this guy hes done alot for me and my kids.i dont like what he did.he hurt me so bad i want to stay with him,but how do i no this isnt going to happen again.has this happened to anyone else.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Jan. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I'm sorry. Seems like alot of bad men are coming out of the woodwork these days. True colors are shining through. I know what you are going through and it hurts like a bad sting in your heart. I just posted my latest issue with my NSO(non significant other) yesterday. Best thing I can tell you is decide if he's really worth the salt in your tears and trying to make things work. My opinion is once a cheater always a cheater. Counseling might work, but I can almost guarantee you he won't go for that. Men have their "ego" to think about, feelings come in last...for most(not all) men anyway.

    I have an online group if you are interested pm me, it's a good support network for women with crappy unappreciative hubbys/BF's and or abusive men and it has some pretty helpful links on it too. :) Would have posted this in a message but you posted anon. Take care and good luck. :)
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 1:37 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Why do people get their tubes tied... does he want to be with his baby and her or did he tell you that this will never happen again? Either way, I would leave him if I were you. The damage is done. Sorry that this has happened to you and good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Unfortunately, if he wants children and got her pregnant, chances are that he's going to want to be with her. You should really think about moving on because you are going to have a very hard time getting past this. Also, if you are with him, she (the other woman) will ALWAYS be around because of the child.

    I'm so sorry that you're going through this... But you need to run like hell!
    itsjaimiehere

    Answer by itsjaimiehere at 1:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • if you give him a second chance, you will always be parniod about him cheating again. i guess if it was me, i'd be so heartbroken, i'd slowly let him go. start not texting him as much as you normally would or not communicating with him as much as you did. but its up to you.

    no one's really sure that he wouldnt do it again...you just have to trust him
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:51 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Move on. Find someone who can live with the fact that you can't bear children anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • It's one thing to cheat, which is not acceptable in my eyes, it's another to cheat unprotected. Unfortunately I can't tell you to stay or leave, the real question is can you forgive him and still be in his child's life. Did he cheat to have kids of his own or some other reason. It's not your fault he cheated but there is definately an issue that either needs to be resolved or part ways. If he has always wanted children then most likely he will be an active father and the other women will be around. Also, he may be great to your children which has its blessings but is this want you want them to see? It's a lot to think, I hope this helps.
    arianne

    Answer by arianne at 2:00 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Ok you have kids; got your tubes tied; then met a new guy who wanted kids of his own & what...told you it was ok he'd be happy w/ the kids you already had or that he eventually wanted your tubal reversed? I mean how do you not see this coming? Not you personally; I'm sorry I'm not trying to be mean. I just - IDK...I couldn't handle a cheater; I wouldn't be able to ask how do I stay cause I couldn't - I respect myself too much; maybe it's too much pride; IDK but I deserve better than that & expect it.

    IMO this is more than the physical betryal of your relationship - he knows you can't have his children so he went & found another girl who could...that emotional wound would be too deep for me to overcome personally.

    I feel for you in this situation. Will he cheat again; I can't say. Will you be able to be open; gracious and loving to this new child he's fathered; that will be a constant reminder of the affair?
    beachmamaof2

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 2:15 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • At least your not married. Move on and try to make better choices in choosing men.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • my dh cheated and got another girl pregnant. BUT we already had 2 LOs together and my tubes aren't tied. It took a lot for me to reconsider making our marriage work and to be honest I don't think I would have if we weren't married. I mean, it's a hassle. I love the little girl but the mother if freaking nuts. just loony toons. When he did it our marriage was on the rocks and to be honest I was already thinking of leaving him, but strangely this brought us closer together.
    I am in no way saying he will change b/c I don't know him. You have to get all the facts like, did he cheat just to have another child? if that's the case leave him, b/c he wants something and you can't give it to him. if it was him cheating and he got her preggers by mistake and he's TRULY sorry (and by truly I mean proving A LOT) then maybe give it another chance. Every1 here has diff. opinions so you gotta follow your heart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • You will never know that it won't happen again, no matter what he tells you. Past behavior is an excellent indicator of future behavior. I'd cut your losses, kick his butt out, and, with the next guy, don't move in together or even get intimate until you know what he's really like.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 6:20 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

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