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How many of you battle this???

I had three kids only one was a boy, he is my youngest, and his latino father, with his macho upbringing always told him as a child, "men don't cry", we had it out so many times, he would say this to my son and I went the other side and told him to cry if that is what he felt like doing, that it had nothing to do with him being a male, it had to do with being human and releasing emotion. Anyone relate?

 
older

Asked by older at 2:22 PM on Jan. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • I can't relate but I agree that YOU are doing the right thing by telling your child that it is okay to cry.
    Mrs.Mack.

    Answer by Mrs.Mack. at 2:24 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • well i dont want to say all latino men say this to there kids because a lot of other men who are from diff races say this to there kids. No offense but i am the one who say this to my kids and they are girls. I dont agree with crying for no damn reason or if my kids are being whiney and crying because i said "You need to go to time out for XX reason" i tell them to stop there crying its not that serious and my husband says it too. I dont see it as being mean, of course my kids are allowed to cry and express them selves but with stupid things like that i dont allow it. I want my kids tough and strong not pansies
    aeroslove

    Answer by aeroslove at 3:15 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • areroslove, allowing your kids to cry will not make them pansies, nor will they be any stronger for holding the tears. But I see what you mean, there is nothing worse than a big cry baby!
    older

    Answer by older at 3:21 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Just because they have outdoor plumbing does not mean they are not human and entitled to their feelings. I don't think he has any right to negate your sons feelings. If the kid needs to cry, let him cry. Why raise an emotionally constipated man, who has health problems etc because of stuffing his feelings all so his dad won't think he is a pansy. You are doing the right thing...let him cry if he feels the need. Everything in moderation.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 7:26 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • DF was raised that "real men dont cry" - in the 3 years we've been together, he's cried a handful of times - when I agreed to marry him, when we lost our first child, when we had our first child together (not the second one, just the first) and when his grandmother passed. When I threatened to take the kids and leave, he shut down, but he did not cry. When DS3 was born, he was happy, but did not cry. He is emotionally repressed and it has led to a life of depression (do you know what it's like to be in a relationship with a man who shows NO emotion, whatsoever??) and its taking a toll on our relationship.

    Is this what you want for your future daughter-in-law?
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 9:34 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Hell no munchies!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:23 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

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