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my four year old is painfully shy. how can I help her out of it?

She wants to do so many things, but for some reason she's crippled by insecurity. I try to nurture her, by encouragment and praise, but she's still so shy. It really keeps her from doing what she really wants to do, and being who i know she can be. But social situations get real sticky for her. shes great when its jst one on one, or when I'm very close by. How can I help her out of this?

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Asked by Ghostinhistory at 2:47 PM on Jan. 3, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Find her a play date. Maybe one of your friends has a little girl her age. If she befriends a child, maybe the child can help her out. I would think if she had a little frind who was not shy, it would get her out of the rut. IDK, maybe. Good luck.

    Answer by Theone3608 at 2:49 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • My 4 year old is very shy and my 3 year old is very outgoing. In thier own time I say. She does better with her cousins and kids she knows. It doesn't bother me though. She will still do stuff if I am their and she feels secure. One postivie thing is she doens't leave my side when we are out, but I need to keep an eye on my 3 year old, cause she is off to explore - lol. We went to a party the other day and after about 2 hours, she finnally left my side; but had to keep checking on me every 5 minutes when she went off to play. It's fine, I know that is just a part of who she is.

    Answer by grace2joy at 7:21 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • some people are shy. Always provide opportunities for her though.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:44 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Shyness is not something to try and change. Shyness is part of a persons "being" I would say,accept her for who she is and do encourage the one on one playdates w/kids she feels comfortable with. Don't push her or try and force her into situations socially that she does not want to be in. Help her feel valued for her unique traits. Believe me,I know how hard it can be to have a child that is different from myself socially. I am shy and have anxiety in social situations. My kids on the other had are outgoing. Each can comfortable enter a room full of ppl like a heard of elephants! I wann head for the hills! Lol! GL;)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Thanks for all the responses! We don't know anyone personally with kids her age, but she does spend most of her day at preschool where there are several in her class, and I know she plays well with them from what her teacher tells me. So she's not that bad all the time, but when I take her to a b-day party or some other event, she's terrified if she doesn't know people. I guess it is just part of her personality and I can accept that, but what bothers me is when she can't even say hello or thank you. Just because your shy doesn't allow you to be rude I don't think.

    Answer by Ghostinhistory at 6:39 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

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