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behavior problems with 3 year old son...NEED ADVICE!!

I have a few concerns about my son. He just turned 3 this past week and is demonstrating behavior that concerns us. To give a little background....when he turned 2, he starting throwing huge tantrums in public, etc. I figured it was typical 2 year old behavior. We just had another baby 4 months ago and Dylan's behavior seems to be getting worse. At first he was pretty sweet to his new brother but then a couple weeks later he started trying to hurt the baby when the baby would be in his bouncer. He tries to roll on him, hit him, he bit him once and broke skin....while I was holding the baby. He rarely listens to anyone in authority anymore. He tries to hurt my mom's dog constantly. I can't even take both out by myself....he screams at the top of his lungs and pushes me when he's mad. He still has his sweet moments but he's not the kid we used to know. We give him SO much positive attention and don't understand this!!!

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tiff362

Asked by tiff362 at 9:35 PM on Jan. 3, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • Maybe he just needs some quiet time when he gets overloaded? I really don't know, I'm sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Mabe his doctor could help you.
    justluvinmyson

    Answer by justluvinmyson at 9:46 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • That seems pretty normal to me. Most of his anger might be resentment coming from the baby, is there any way he can get alone time with you and dad or grandma can watch the baby? My sweet darling princess turned into a mean monster at 3 too, it must be part of something that happens on their 3rd birthdays! She purposely does things to aggravate her 1 year old sister, like taking away binkies or favorite toys and putting them in plain sight but just out of reach. It is probably a phase that will pass, atleast I hope so because I can't take much longer of my daughter's "selective" hearing phase!!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:51 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Hmm. Have you considered Sensory Integration Disorders? Look into the symptoms and tell me what you think. :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • If his behavior is aimed primarily at you and the baby, I'd suspect it's related to adjustment ot the new baby. he may be realizing the "intruder" isn't leaving.. A Sensory Integration issue would more likely occur with anyone (we currently suspect our son may have a problem because he endlessly bumps into everyone..) I would talk to you doctor on how to approach the problem and check that there isn't something else going on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Thank you all for your answers! I take Dylan to the grocery store with just me and I try to spend a lot of time with just him. When the baby is napping and I'm home with Dylan I try to engage him in play time and focusing on playing with something like blocks or counting or anything really...he ignores me most of the time and if he does start to play, its only for 30 secons then he's back to running around again being destructive. Every time he does something nice or listens, we praise him. I know he's doing negative things to get attention but its frustrating because we do give him plenty of it. We do not know how to discipline him because we have tried everything. It's like he doesnt care about getting in trouble....he actually laughs most of the time. He'll say he's sorry and do it again 2 mins later! When he bit the baby he laughed. We explain to him that these things are bad and suggest "nice" things to do...
    tiff362

    Answer by tiff362 at 4:14 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • His behavior is aimed at everything trying to tell him what to do, and its worse when the baby is in the house. He whines constantly when he used to ask nicely and be polite. He is EXTREMELY hyper...just never stops. He constantly runs in circles and falls down and seems to enjoy doing that. I try calmly explaining things to him, telling him how proud I am of him, I try to include him in helping me with the baby only if he wants to, etc.....I am not even sure if talking to him works because he either ignores us or repeats us word for word. He used to answer yes/no questions and now he just repeats so its very hard to communicate with him. It keeps getting worse and I honestly feel like a horrible failure of a mother because he has complete control of me, he runs the house and its very frustrating. I love him soo much and my dr. thinks it may be adhd or possibly oppostional defiant disorder. we have apt. set for psych.
    tiff362

    Answer by tiff362 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

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