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Raising an adoptee

It is interesting on here how if an adoptee makes a comment, no matter how much you may disagree or how much out of line it is, you apparently are supposed to ignore it because they are "an adoptee".

I am raising an adoptee and feel I will be doing this child a disservice if I lead them to believe that the world will grant them a free pass simply because of their adoptee status.

Is anyone raising their adopted children to believe they can say and do what they want simply because they are an adoptee? Or think you should be?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Jan. 3, 2010 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I'm adopted, a little confused at where you're going. but I felt as a child in debt to my parents for what they did for me. I'm not saying I was angelic, I got in trouble here and there. But never did I feel like "I'm SOO SPECIAL" that I can "get away with anything"...My parents are VERY religious and now that I'm an adult and have gone my own way and haven't even attended the church I was raised in. The thought that my parents wanted me to be a "Great Christian" and I'm not, still brings tears to my eyes at failing them. That's me though

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • What? Where are you seeing this? I know several people who were adopted. I have never heard of this.

    Answer by Steff107 at 9:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I've never heard that one before. Although I can say I've met a lot of NON-adopted children who seem to feel that they can say and/or do whatever they please and shouldn't have to face the consequences of, or take responsiblity for their actions.

    Answer by meriana at 10:00 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I'm not sure where you are headed with this, but I will say that it is truly disheartening to see adoptive parents on this site demean or belittle an adoptee or their very valid feelings.
    We, as adoptive parents may not like to hear everything an adult adoptee has to say because it may be painful, but the ONLY way we grow as adoptive parents is to listen to an adoptee when they speak. Our children are going to be adult adoptees one day. They may or may not be "angry adoptees"- gosh, I hate that phrase... They have a right to their feelings and they have every right to vocalize them.
    Does it hurt me to see things that adopteeme or Mei Ling state? Yep, because I know they have been hurt by their adoptions. Do I need to hear it ? Absolutely... especially Mei Ling's story since my dd is adopted from China. I'm currently reading her book and it is heartwrenching to read..esp. as an a-parent to a CN child.
    It makes me think.

    Answer by mcginnisc at 10:45 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • mc i have seen birthmoms demean paps as well. lets not start the double standard,

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • McGinnis, what I dont understand though is why everything that comes out of those adult adoptees mouth is supposed to be untouchable. If you notice, every time someone debates, questions or comments on something they say, someone will jump in and say "they are an adoptee, how can you reply that way". I am not talking about when they express THEIR feelings about their story, I mean when they make broad sweeping comments.

    My child is no more represented by adopteeme because he is an adoptee than he is by Kanye West because he is AA.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 AM on Jan. 4, 2010