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Would you really deny your child his/her college fund if he or she decided not to attend college?

Lately, I've seen quite a few women on CM saying that if their child(ren) decided not to attend college, then they would not be getting the college fund the parents saved up for them.

Isn't that a little cruel?

How about giving the child part of the money to help pay for a deposit and first month's rent on their first apartment? Or to help pay for a reliable vehicle to get to/from work?

I think college is important, but it's clearly not for everyone. Why would you keep the money just because the child decided college wasn't for him/her?

I'm not even talking about giving the child ALL the money...but at least SOME of it.

Any thoughts, ladies?



Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Jan. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (35)
  • I think telling your kid "college or nothing" is a bit harsh. There are many good career fields that do not require a college degree. Also, what level of schooling a child receives doesn't necessarily assess their level of responsibility.
    Personally, I would not completely deny my child their college fund if they chose not to go, but I would not give my child all-out access to the account either. I think using the money to help them along with their necessities would be the best idea- for example: A down payment on a new home or (reasonable) vehicle, to help them if their car breaks down, unexpected medical/dental/veterinary expenses, etc.

    Answer by emslala at 12:53 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I think it would depend on what the child is doing instead of college. My hubbys parents had a college fun and he did a couple of semesters than joined the army. They gave him his money because he was doing something responsible. I think it would all depend on what they are doing. But yes I would definitely help with the deposit on the rent.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 10:37 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • i'd give the money to my kids for a down payment on a house as long as they're working a steady job and are mature enough for that responsibility.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Technically, the money belongs to the parents! My parents saved up tons for my sister and I to go to college and when I chose to quit I did not feel entitled to the money. They worked hard for it, and I don't feel like I was owed a car or a down payment on a house by any means.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 10:46 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I would deny it. BUT it would then be put into another account for whenever my child has their own child and it would then go to my grandchildrens college.

    Answer by Trotterswife at 10:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • If they were just slacking off I would not give them the money I had to work so hard to save. I would give it to them if they were stable with their future plans and needed investment money, for a house or business. Parents who save money for college work very hard to give their kids some security in there future..I don't think throwing it at rent(helping someone else pay a mortgage) is a good investment. Children are not entitled to free money because their parents saved it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • im not sure what i would do with the money, i mean if my child decided not to go to college i think all the things i gave up to save that money would flash before my eyes lol i think i agree with what they were doing instead of college

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 11:01 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • I agree with armywife. It would depend on what she's doing with her life. I mean if she's a drug addict, then no she isn't getting it. But for the most part, we'll give it to her. We aren't going to just hand it over, though. When she goes to buy a house or something like that then we'll give it to her. We're (well my husband for now, haha) working hard for it and I don't want her to just blow irresponsibly.

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:02 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Yep, your damn skippy I would. That's my money, that I worked for. I didn't think I needed college, and man do we struggle. Finally I did it and I have a meaningful satisfying career. It's hard to find a high paying job with benefits without school. I paid my own school and so did my parents, so if my child was given the opportunity I would expect it to go towards what it is meant for. Not to piss away on an apartment or other stuff.. I'll help my kids with car and rent if they are in school.

    Answer by Steff107 at 11:03 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • for me it would depend on why my child is choosing not to go to college, and I probably wouldn't just give it to them. If they aren't going to be continuing thier education then my kid better be working, and wouldn't need my money anyway. I might then just set it aside until they need it for something valid. I didn't go to college, I could have, but went through a very intense party phase, and just didn't care. I'm glad my parents didn't give me any money, I'd have just spent it on weed. I never felt entitled to any of it either because I was choosing not to do what it was set aside for. Instead I went to work 5 days a week, and made my own money.

    Answer by puddleybug at 11:04 PM on Jan. 3, 2010