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SHOULD I LET HIM SIGN THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?

OK, SO IM DUE TO HAVE MY LIL GIRL (KARLY) ANYTIME NW. HER FATHER HAS NOT BEEN HERE AT ALL DURING THE PREGNANCY & HE DENIESS HER. HE DOSEN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO W/ HER AT ALL. MY 15 MONTH OLD SON (BADEN) IS HIS TOO & HE IS IN HIS LIFE SUMWAT. IAM ENGAGED TO MAN THAT IS GREAT TO MY SON, & CANT WAIT TILL I HAVE MY LIL GIRL. HE KNOWS THAT HE IS NOT THE FATHER TO KARLY, BUT HE WANTS TO SIGN THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. HE WANTS TO BE HER DADDY. HE DOSEN'T WANT HER FATHER IN HER LIFE CUZ OF WAT HE HAS DONE TO ME & MY SON IN THE PAST, PLUS HE DOSEN'T TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY SON THE TIMES THAT HE DOES GET HIM. IAM SUPPOSE TO GET A DNA TEST WEN SHE COMES SO WE CAN SETTLE THE CUSTODY BATTLE W/ BOTH KIDS. SO IAM THINKING ABOUT SAYING SHE ISNT HIS SO I DNT HAVE TO DO A DNA TEST & SO HE WON'T BE IN HER LIFE. IVE NEVER HEARD OF LETTING A MAN SIGN THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE IF HE ISNT THE DAD. PLZ TELL ME WAT I SHOULD DO OR IF IM DOIN THE RIGHT THING.

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Mrs.Ferri

Asked by Mrs.Ferri at 11:56 PM on Jan. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (182 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • Ahhh, my eyes! Don't yell!

    He doesn't deserve to be on the birth certificate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2010

  • Kind of unclear here but I think what you want to know is should you let the man who is NOT the dad sign the certificate...NO. It's not a legal thing to do. The real dad can come back on you in court for that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • You can if you want but remember that is called fraud. If you thought that your finance was a possible father then yes you can but if you know he isn't it is illegal to lie on a government form.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 12:03 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Its your life, your baby, you have to make this decision and live with it. I will say this: if you are married before dd is born and he really wants to sign, let him. I wish I could have had this opportunity myself with my last 3 kids! Their father was never there for them emotionally, financially, or any way a good dad is there! The back lash though is if you keep it a secret from her and she finds out! Try praying on it!? I wish you the best! I am sorry for your anguish.
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 12:06 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Its not illegal...I believe its a form of adoption that can easily be challanged. It will make it harder getting child support, but if you want him out of her life and she has a "daddy" maybe he shouldn't. If the father wants nothing to do with his child I would oblige him and have your SO sign the birth certificate.
    On a side note...and I'm not bashing..Using all caps means yelling it text, it also makes it hard to comprehend what we are reading.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 12:07 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • From what I understand you will have to take a DNA test anyway, especially if you are adding another guy to that hat. If lie you risk hanging yourself in court and the biological father can use that against you anyway he pleases because your credibility is shot.

    Do this the right way, maybe the father will sign away his rights which frees him up from child support for two kids and then your new guy and legally adopt both kids. You don't have to have anyone's name on the certificate however, your daughter will one day get that certificate and how might that make her feel to only see one name. On the other hand unless you are 100% sure of her father then don't put anything
    1st_LadyD

    Answer by 1st_LadyD at 12:16 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • You can't lie to the courts about him being the father. If he doesn't want to be in her life just ask him to sign away the rights so the new man in your life can be there for her.

    BTW...if you are pregnant and it was with him and you already have a new man to marry, are you sure you know him well enough to let him sign on to rights (didn't know how to word it) to one of your children? Or is this someone you have always known?
    VintageWife

    Answer by VintageWife at 12:20 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • i would ask him to sign away his rights. dna doesn't mean that he GETS visitation, just that he can sue for it, if he chooses to.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 12:27 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Just want to add it would be pretty hard for them to prove you were trying to be fraudulent about the father..I don't think an officer of the court was present at conception...and you could just say you thought your SO was the father. I've searched around and everything varies state to state, maybe you should contact a family lawyer and ask.

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 12:37 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Have the real dad sign the papers because you would be sued by him if you let the other man do it. But you CAN have the man you are engaged to adopt Karl after she is born and the other guy wont be around
    LilMamaC08

    Answer by LilMamaC08 at 12:52 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

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