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i just want to make him happy. He screams and crys hits his walls we take his toys his rewards his what ever....Time outs peacfull talking it dosnt matter he is what i would call an angry baby boy:( how do i put my foot down. His dad takes it to far and had a very intimadating voice, he dosnt even hear. He comes to me for his comfort and his love and all and to get out of this, he is always by my side unless at school i just dont know how to do it.

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Mommynightmare

Asked by Mommynightmare at 2:13 AM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (12)
  • I am confused what do you want help with the discipline, the dad, or the clinginess?
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:26 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • You comfort him after he's been diciplined and that's part of the problem.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 2:35 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • As harsh as this will sound to you I am going to tell you an honest opinion. There is something mentally wrong with the child or it is a lack of good parenting. You need to step it up whether it be giving him disipline or getting him the therapy he needs or both. If you do not the problem WILL continue to get worse. I am sorry if this sounds harsh but sometimes the truth isn't exactly painless.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 2:39 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Does he have a schedule?
    Sometimes some parents don't have a schedule and toddlers/preschoolers thrive on consistency it gives them something that they will know will take place, it may be that or he has adhd I'm not sure f he is mentally handicap that's absurd to scare you that way so ignore that drivel.

    I have a son like this he has ADHD he needs a schedule and needs patience and not some idiot labeling him mentally retarded.
    Tell your ped and let him know your concerns try to see if your state has any resources for developmental delayed programs where they will test him if he has hearing problems or developmental delays they will have all sorts of specialists that works with children, hopefully they can find answers and get started on catching him up.
    Good luck on this and F**** people who automatically label children like this mentally retarded it's people like them that need to be knocked back to the 50's.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Harsh? That's overstating it, I agree with Anon 2:29 contact your pediatrician, the programs offer family counseling that will help you cope. Yelling and being frustrated isn't going to make him behave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Sorry anon :29 but ADHD is a mental issue. A child with this disorder does not see an eye doctor but a mental health doctor. Therefore, it is called a mental health issue. Nowhere did anyone call the child mentally retarded, I don't know why you pulled this outta your azz. Still strange though. And also, a ped can not properly treat a child with ADHD, would you take you car to the drycleaners to have a flat tire fixed? It takes a mental health professional for proper treatment for children with disorders such as ADHD/ADD.
    Sorry OP, I am sorry your question has become out of hand and not to the point. Best regards to you.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 4:03 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I really don't think there is enough info for us to give good advice. Are you saying you son is deaf? Please explain the situation better.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:35 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • yea, i'ma agree- the situation isnt fully explained, BUT- i will say that monkey see, monkey do. sounds like his dad in a way- his dad voices his opinion in a threatening verbal manner, and your son does it in a threatening physical manner.

    if your son cant hear/speak, start working on sign language- even a made up one. my son knows thumbs down means that hes in trouble (he has no medical problem- can hear just fine. but it works wonders in a loud/crowded room).

    you loving him after being disciplined is bad as well. he gets in trouble with dad, but mom just cuddles when he does bad. make sure he sticks through with his discipline and THEN give him a hug and all that.

    also- for some kids, this is still somewhat normal behavior. i dotn wanna say bad parenting, but you gotta teach him ways to communicate his anger.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 7:02 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • consistency may be the key.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:30 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Routine is important for any child, it is critical for children with ADD, ADHD, or Autism. It is also extremely important that both mom and dad are on the same page with discipline. If the two of you do not get on the same page the confusion for your child will continue, and yes there is confusion. Say he throws a toy for example, mom tells him please do not do that, and dad hollers and scares him. He is confused. It is not a big deal or is it a major offence? Get dad on the same page with time outs. Back to the throwing the toy. Give him one (1) warning, “If you throw your toy again, you will be in time out.” If he does, put him in time out. One (1) minute per year of age. Tell him, “I am putting you in time out because you did not listen and threw your toy.” Every time he gets up put him back without talking to him. When he has completed the time out tell him again why he was in time out and have him say sorry....
    Mommie_Mommie

    Answer by Mommie_Mommie at 10:58 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

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