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His ex is suicidal

My fiance just told his ex about us.
1. She thought they were always going to get back together she called him babe/ hun and said I love you through texting, I just found this out christmas eve
2. He let her think this for so long ( 2 months to be exact)
3. He feels guilty
4. Shes threatening to kill herself

1.I'm upset at him because he didn't tell her from the start
2. I'm upset at what this might do to 'our future'

I actually dont know how to feel about this, or what to say to him.
How am I supposed to handle this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • How long have u two been together? If your engaged, I would think him and his ex would have been broke up long enough for her to get the hint? I would be quite upset with him if he was kinda leading her on?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Oh my...well...I personally don't put much stake in the whole suicide threat unless she's got a history of being suicidal and of REAL attempts to kill herself...and even if that is the case all he has to do is call the police where she lives and they will go check on her. He should under NO circumstances give her the attention she wants to get using that as a threat (I won't get started on how much I hate people who do that stuff).

    I understand why you are upset and you have every right to be...but do you really want this to be such a big issue that it affects your future with him? Yes, it does sound like he has some growing up to do when it comes to handling this girl, but men are cowards when it comes to dealing with crazy emotional women.... Make sure he knows what he did is NOT ok with you and I would suggest he cuts off all contact with this person unless he has a child with her. Good luck !

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 4:00 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I HAD a suicidal boyfriend that told me a whole bunch of crap to keep me with him. I stayed and was unhappy for wayyy too long before my mom gave me this advise: "You aren't the one killing him/her, you have nothing to do with this what-so-ever." He needs to tell her EXACTLY how it is, stop phone cheating on you, and maybe call the cops if he's really worried about what she might do. If she does it, it is NOT his fault. Let me tell you, my ex is still alive and well and that was 3 years ago and I'm sure his ex will be fine and dandy too. To be honest with you though, if this chick still thinks she's dating your man, he isn't just sending her loving texts. Good luck to you!!


    Answer by -xoxo- at 5:56 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • If he has been leading her on for the last two months, I would have to wonder how committed to you he is. It took him that long to tell her about you, and they have been texting. In all honestly, I would get out of this relationship now. Sounds like he has been using her as a plan b in case you two don't work out.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:27 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • he is not responsible for her life. if he wants to be rid of her, then he should provide her with a suicide hotline number, and encourage her to get help. if he loves her and wants to be with her, then he should do that.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:26 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Poor girl he probably has been leading her on for a long time which means he has been probably having sex with her. Sounds like a real loser and I would run if I were you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I would be worried about what he feels guilty about not telling YOU. That works both ways. If he is not honest with her and you just found out a week ago...what else is he hiding from you?

    Answer by MLU103169 at 2:42 PM on Oct. 20, 2011

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