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Different views on parenting...

My boyfriend and I live together and his ex-wife has custody of his 3 girls and his son,and I also have a 8 month old from my previous marriage.He has them every other weekend and I love them to death but I have a really hard time sometimes when there with us because there father lets them get away with so much,like not eating there dinner an then giving them food shortly after that.I've voiced to him on how I feel and it's like he hears me but he's not listening to me and I'm not sure what to do please help...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Discuss this now, and make it clear, you both have to meet in the middle.

    My hubby said: no dessert if you don't eat dinner. He would trow it away. I would put it in the fridge.

    We compromised, in the fridge(so, I can microwave), and if they don't eat it, they don't get dessert.

    meet in the middle!! It will make the both of you guys happy. Also, discuss everything with him. Hopefully, you can meet half way... You don't want to have kids together, if you can't...
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:02 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • My neighbor has the same problem, her dd goes every weekend to her dads and comes home sunday night. It takes her until Wed to straighten her back out, just to head back to dads.
    I think few dads that get their kids on the weekends realize how hard it actually is during the week, you can try speaking to him again and telling him that it is really disruptive at your house. Also speak to your child and put your foot down firmly that you wont tolerate the behavior at your house, that just cause dad lets them get away with it doesnt mean you will. Tell them they eat the food put in front of them and they can remain at the table until they have eaten. My dd sat at the table for 3hrs one night and finally realized i wasnt budging so ate.
    Ok I just confused myself lol... is it your 8month with these problems? Or did you mean when the 4 other kids go to their moms arent you living with their dad? Sorry I got confused on who.
    Trotterswife

    Answer by Trotterswife at 10:05 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Sounds like things you should have discussed before shacking up. They are his kids and he can parent them the way he likes just like you parent your child they way you like. I would stay out of it and if he wants to make multiple meals his choice I would not make them for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Sit him down and discuss only one topic, say the kids not eating dinner. Make sure he understands he isn't doing them any favors by allowing it. I've found with men they can only learn one new trick at a time. Don't overwhelm him. It is natural to have an adjustment period in the the beginning of a relationship and this sounds like a fairly new one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • This is a disaster waiting to happen. Your child is going to see that they get different treatment, and you are going to have open rebellion on your hands. If you can't come to some kind of agreement pretty quickly, then you had better split!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:08 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

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