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Is it normal for my 10 year old daughter to be very emotional and anxious about growing up? She cries and is very worried about growing up and all that comes with that. I'm worried about her, but wondering if this is hormonal? Any advice on how to make her feel better?

My daughter turns 10 tomorrow. We recently moved from Minnesota to Colorado and she has been faced with lots of new things - new school, new friends, new swim team, etc. She is very hesitant to go to friends homes for playdates, will not do a sleepover with any friends and prefers to stay close to home. This is the exact opposite behavior of my happy go luck kiddo a year ago. Help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • welcome to puberty, girls are very emotional at this age sometimes it happens later but this is right about the age where everything becomes very emotional. The fact that she has had some recent changes in her life could be making it a little worse for her.

    I would just be patient and try to be understanding, life for any 9 or 10 y/o is hard, i was just talking to my sons teacher about this. At this age in school kids start to seperate out in groups, before they are all happy to play together and then right around 3rd grade they all become more socially aware and start to have more issues with peers and insecurities. Sometimes all it takes is some time with mom and doing things to boost her self confidence, even things like a new outfit or hairstyle can help. I would plan a outing for the two of you and ask her what she would like to do maybe shopping and a lunch out might help her open up and talk to you.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 10:24 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • yes it is normal. yes, it may be hormonal.

    I hope that your daughter is fully educated in how hormones can affect emotions; you don't want her thinking that she is crazy.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:39 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • agree with above PP's, just try your best to instill confidence and self esteem. shes feeling unsure and nervous now- i remember exactly how it feels. my parents never supported or talked me- ever, and its taken a toll.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Thank you all for taking the time to answer my question. I'm just happy to hear that is could be hormones kicking in. She still seems such a little girl to me that I sometimes forget our bodies have a mind of their own. We have been reading the American Girl series of books on feelings and our bodies. We read them together and this seems to really help. She has even written a letter to American Girl with her questions. She has her 10 year well check appointment this week and I plan to speak with her doctor as well.

    Answer by nuggleblanket at 11:06 AM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Puberty sucks, lol. Not looking forward to dealing with it with my kids (I have 3 girls and my oldest is turning 10 in June). My biggest concern is keeping an eye out for depression. It was around that age that I realized there was something wrong with me but I didn't understand what it was. I was so depressed I wished I had never been born and became very introverted, keeping to myself in my room, playing alone, etc. I had friends but I rarely went to their houses (if ever) and never asked for them to come over. I mostly just played with my brother or stayed by myself. The older I got the more withdrawn I became and my parents just chalked it up to hormones. By 12 I realized I was depressed and wanted to die. It wasn't a very pleasant time of my life and I think if I would have gotten proper help then I wouldn't have been so suicidal in college and later. I worry about my girls inheriting it.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 3:56 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • American Girl book is titled "The Care and Keeping of Me" Great resource to help with totally normal behavior. I was surprised when my daughter was in 4th grade that things started changing for her emotionally. I thought I had until at least 13 (thirTEEN) It really come on faster than I had expected! I was not at all ready for it. She is in middle school now and I am coping alright, but not great. Good Luck!

    Answer by lovetoteach1988 at 4:48 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

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