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My 4yr old daughter will not stop talking about my mom who died Sept 08 and it's an everyday thing. What can I do?

It's getting to the point where she just says random, untrue making up stories I guess you could say. She'll say something like "Mommy do you remember when me and Nanny..." and she'll say something that never happened. For the first year she would say everyday "Mommy I miss Nanny" and that was understandable, but it's to the point (and I dont want this to sound bad) that I want her to just shut up about my mom. I've had a hard enough time with it being pregnant right now and my mom not being here and I finally got to the point where I don't get upset over her as much, but the last few weeks my daughter has started doing this. I'm not mean to her about it, but it bothers me. I've explained to her before that Nanny's heart stopped working (she had a heart attack), but ALL the time she says ""Tell me a story about Nanny dying" and I jsut ignore her. My grandparents say she does the same thing at their house...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • She's dealing with her grief and missing your mom. Don't take that away from her. Perhaps when the new baby gets here that will distract her.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:01 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • you need to let her talk. It is so hard to wrap her head around death and this is normal. I am sure if you went to a bookstore or library you will find bks on helping children through this. hugs

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • make her a photo book of her nanny with words. that way she will have something to look at and a story to read to her self

    Answer by angelairelan at 3:04 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Perhaps you can get her a small photo album from the $1.00 store and place pictures of her and your mom that way she will be occupied in her own way through pictures rather to just talk about her out of the blue. And maybe you can say it one more time to her about your mom's passing and that one day we will all be together in heaven but we don't know when only God knows or whatever you want to help her close this in her mind as far as talking too much about it. She is just missing her alot just give her time to adjust or when ever she bring her up try to distract her with something else...soon she will be just fine.
    Hang in there all she needs is time. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:13 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I've tried talking to her and explaining everything to her to where she would understand. I can handle her saying she misses my mom, but I can't handle her wanting me to tell her about my mom dying and some of the stories she tells that never happened. She does the same thing with my parents dog that died a few months before my mom. She wants us to tell her about him dying and I've explained it a few times and every stuffed animal dog she gets she names Max, after him.
    Anytime she's at my grandparents (my moms inlaws) she always wants my grandpa to tell her about my mom dying and it bothers him too and he always changes the subject.
    I've got pictures of my mom in her room and have a picture of the two of them on her dresser. I feel bad for her, but I dont know what to do and it bothers me too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • A possibility is to consult a counselor, especially one who works with grief in children or families.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 3:21 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Why don't you tell her it's too sad for you to talk about it. ust be honest with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

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