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She took me outta the wedding...!!!

Well a while ago a friend of mine had invited me to be a bridesmate in her wedding. well i have never been in a wedding before so i was pretty excited... BUT i do live far away so i had to make sure to tell her in advance if i was going to be able to attend or not. Well mths before her wedding before the deadline she gave me to let her know, she write me and tells me she has to take me out bc one of her fiance's best man's wasn't going to be in it bc he couldn't afford the tux... she said she didn't want it to be uneven and i was the only person ( of the bridesmates) that wasn't a family member. So i do sort of understand but now her and i don't barley talk bc i kinda feel betrayed in a way. i understand a wedding is very important but she would of rather cut me out than have it un even? is it just me or was that a pretty mess up move of her?


Asked by sexy_can_i at 4:00 PM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (107 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Honestly, it isn't about the number of people. It's about the importance of the person themselves. You choose people to be in your wedding due to what they mean to you. Your maid of honor is the closest person to you. A sister, a best friend, a mother, etc. The bridesmaids are close friends or the rest of your sisters. You don't choose the people based on what equals up. I understand wanting it to be equal, but that shouldn't be important at all.

    I personally would feel very offended that she decided I was the one to be cut. I understand that her family is the rest of the wedding party, but I still would feel offended.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:29 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • It was probably very important to her that she have an equal number of guys and girls. So, I would just accept her decision, think about the money it saved you, and not allow it to affect my friendship with her.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:03 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • It was a not nice move on her part. Look at it this way, now you don't have to spend a bunch of money on a bridesmaid's dress that you'll only wear once.

    Answer by acollins09 at 4:04 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • It's her wedding. Most brides do not want an uneven number in the wedding. It's supposedly bad luck. Since she went with family only it's not like she choose one friend over the other. Wish her the best of luck and continue being a friend. Brides have to make a lot of hard choices and I'm sure this isn't one she wanted. Many brides would rather have a best friend in the wedding but can't afford to hurt family & future family by cutting them out.

    Answer by baconbits at 4:05 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I think cuz you know you do live far away you should just let it slide. in some weddings the bridesmaid and groomsmen do walk side by side down the aisle and into the reception and in other weddings the groomsmen are at the altar with the groom while the bridesmaids walk before the bride.

    Just enjoy your friend's excitement. If you've been good to great friends until this. don't let this hurt it. Truly good friends know what's minor and what's major.

    Oh not to put a downer on things - but if you don't have a steady boyfriend or fiance, husband then you might not be allowed to just ask someone to be your date to her wedding. You might want to check on that now. When my husband and I were married about 8 years a wedding invitation was received for him only. That didn't sit well with my husband. He yelled at his buddy in front of me to not be a jerk. But anyway don't be angry - some brides are really stressed by peers.

    Answer by lfl at 4:11 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • i feel for you, it will hurt for a while but you will get over it if the realtionship is a good one. My cousin, who i was always very close to, and I always promised that we would be in each others weddings, well i got married first and didn't even have a wedding, just a trip to the courthouse, when she got married I was pregnant and she told me that I would just be too big to have standing up next to her. idk if was an exuse or not but that hurt me bad. I could have understood if she had just not said anything, I mean I didn't have her a part of my non wedding so why should I expect her? Anyway, it damaged us for a while but now we are ok, I got over it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • From what I have seen on tv a lot of bride go crazy and turn into monsters during wedding planning. So I guess I would not take it too personally. She is probably just anal about everything being perfect and the uneven number.....

    I would feel hurt too though. Just wish her well....and hopefully things with your friendship will fall back into place eventually.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • She's thinking logically and practically. Don't take it personally.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:13 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • hey look at it this way - your getting out of some big bucks.

    you call her... she is a bride and her head is in the clouds. she will come to her sences in a couple years... dont let the friendship die because she is a bit of an airhead at the moment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • My husband's brother kicked him out of the wedding because with small kids he could not commit to some of the requirements, (like no matter what, short of dying you CAN NOT leave the reception before midnight). I was 8 months pregnant we had a 2 year old and a 5 year old type one diabetic, things can go wrong. Anyway not only that but he uninvited my family to the wedding. Then at the last minute emailed saying he needed to know if we were coming or not. Anyway, against my wishes, due to smoe of the truly terrible things that were said about us and out children, my husband insisted we go. So we went.

    I understand. Since that day in 2006, my husband and his brother have spoken 2 to 3 times and it's always small talk, they were close before. I myself have not spoken one work to his brother since then and only hello to his wife. She wasn't part of the deal.
    You can lose your friend or talk it out. If she's important, talk it out

    Answer by heatheryn at 5:21 PM on Jan. 4, 2010