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im at my wits end

I don't know what to do anymore. I truly am in love with my husband but believe we got married for the wrong reasons and am sick of the way he treats me like I'm his slave and he's my servant. Both of my children are his and he loves only one of them treats my two year horrible and I want to leave I just can't gain the courage to I want my kids to know him and I know if I walk out hell never want to see me and therefore won't see his kids. Plus I'm pregnant with our third child. What can I do to save my marriage? Or is it time to move on?

Answer Question
 
Arianna0825

Asked by Arianna0825 at 6:53 PM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • marriage is for better for worse. when times get hard you both have to work on it. you have to sit him down and tell him how youre feeling. most guys arent going to be willing to change b/c most likely they think nothings wrong. they are also stubborn (as women can be too.)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • If he treats your child like crap then MOVE ON.. I would never put my husband before my child.. I know thats probably hard b/c you love him but how could you stand it if he is treating them differently? Time to go!
    maybebaby83

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 6:58 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I agree marriage is important but not when the worst is on one partner only and a child is being discriminated against in the family. You are allowed by law to be in a marriage or out of a marriage and have selfrespect. I think counseling could help you decide which you want and how to go about deciding more how to get the selfrespect you deserve. Yr husband sounds like mine. I should have gone to a different counsellor than I did years ago. Always love yourself 1st and then your kids when you have them and then your partner. Selflove can bring love with a partner but it's not a guarantee. Selfrespect can be carried on down to kids and a partner can choose to give it back or know you'll leave without it. pm me if you want. Even with your child being treated different you sound like what I've been through

    You're allowed respect. Nurture the lives of your little ones who can't fend 4 themselves, their dad's wrong.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 7:05 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I refuse to allow a grown father to intentionally hurt my child. I would tell him to cut the crap or I'm leaving. That gives him the chance to stop acting badly toward a small child. If you can tolerate him it's one thing but when he harms a child and bruises the child's spirit then it's time to think about leaving. If he treats number 3 badly then it's going to be a whole lot worse. Why can't men appreciate the children they have? These little kids usually worship the dads and the dads have to ruin it by being jerks.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:15 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • i'm sorry but if he doesnt show love towards one child what would make you want to have a 3rd child with him?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:19 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • It is often said that women set the standards in a relationship and men will only do what they can get away with. I would not tolerate having a GROWN kid while my CHILD suffers. Something is just wrong with that picture. I would strongly suggest that you do some boundary work and self esteem work. I also agree with shay1130.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 7:24 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • This whole treating my DD like crap thing just happened, so dont try to bring me down like that. As soon as I found out that I was pregnant, things changed. My DD is going through her terrible twos and I don't think he is coping the stress very well. He HAS NEVER physically harmed her, its just the emotional abuse that kills me and he does the same with me. He is of a different culture then I and can not understand that roles are different here then where he is from and everytime I try to talk to him he turns everything around on me like i'm the bad guy.
    Ari0825

    Answer by Ari0825 at 7:32 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Arianna0825 - Ari0825


    Not to be too picky but I thought it was against TOU to have more than one account?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • First stand up for yourself and your kids. Do not let him favor one child over the other. If he will not stop acting stupid. You need to leave him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:38 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • your job as a mom is to protect your child from any one's abuse, If your husband is a bad man than why would you want your kids to grow up with him.

    marriage is for better or worse, "they do not mean abuse". NO ONE HAS TO PUT UP WITH THAT!!!

    Stop being afraid and tell him to stop his shit, if he does not listen than it is time to start plaining your exit.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 9:41 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

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