Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what would you do?

i got pregnant unexpectedly. my sis was dying to get pregnant. she is 21 and i told her she still has many years for fertility. well i recently found out she is pregnant. she didn't tell me. i had to find out through other people. she told EVERYBODY except me. well during my pregnancy she treated me like crap and i was really depressed because of it. i tried and tried to have a relationship with her. we used to be really close until i got pregnant. i don't think she wants anything to do with me because she didn't tell she was pregnant and she never comes to visit her nephew. she was the first person i told when i was pregnant except for my so. i keep trying to have a relationship with her. especially since she is pregnant i want to be there for her. should i continue to try to have a relationship with her or give up?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It took me years to figure out the simplest lesson....
    You can't make someone want to be a part of your life, you can't make them love or want you, and you can't make them talk to you or your kids.
    All you can do is offer yourself to them and if and when they want you, they will call as long as you leave the door open.
    My guess is that she's afraid that paybacks are headed her way and after the way she treated you, maybe you'll do her the same way.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 4:46 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Didn't we already answer this? Just call her and talk this out
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • You only have control over your own actions not hers. If your strained relationship is impacting you this way, then you need to figure out what you personally can do to start feeling better. If contacting her and getting a negative response is making you feel bad, then why do you keep doing it? Let the ball stay in her court and stop letting her negativity have an effect on your life. If you've exhausted all facets of fixing the relationship, then you need to leave it alone.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:09 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Examine the reasons why you feel bad you don't have a relationship w/ her, if its worth it to you then talk to her, if not realize that she was jealous that you were pregnant when she wanted to be & you got all the attention she was craving. Just bc you want to have a relationship w/ her doesn't mean she wants to have a relationship w/ her. At some point in time she has to reciprocate or its just a waste of your energy.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:16 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • SHE'S FAMILY. SOUNDS LIKE SHE WAS JEALOUS YOU HAD A BABY FIRST THATS ALL---ITS THE BAGAGE WE BRING FROM CHILDHOOD INTO ADULTHOOD. SEND HER SOME FLOWERS OFFERING CONGRATS, SEND HER PICTURES OF YOUR CHILD SO SHE SEES WHAT SHES MISSING, LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN FOR COMMUNICATION. IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MISS HER ALOT, DON'T GIVE UP, ONCE SHE HAS THE BABY JUST LIKE YOU, YOU BOTH WILL BE EVEN AGAIN. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LET THIS GET IN THE WAY. YOU LOVE HER!
    ohio4

    Answer by ohio4 at 12:41 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • It takes two people to have a relationship, even if one of those people is your sister. Just make yourself available and stop chasing after her. If you have tried to find out if there is something you can do to make this better, that is all you can do. The rest is up to her.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:30 AM on Jan. 5, 2010