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supervised visitation is a joke!

if anyone can help please!!!! my ex has therapeutic supervised visits with our 5 and 8 yr old. i left 3 years ago because he was verbally and physically abusive and recently i found out sexually too. after a summer free from visits (we were on a waiting list) we have now started supervised visits. the ex has never paid for the kids and is currently 30k in arrears. i understand that child support and visitation are 2 separate issues but if he really wanted to be a father wouldnt he be responsible and pay?! not only that but when the kids see him they have nightmares and coincidentally seem to be chronically ill. this didnt happen over the summer. the supervisor doesnt understand how he intimidates them and theyre afraid of him. nobody gives a damn that this isnt good for the kids. they only care about his rights. dont my kids have rights too? theyre finally happy and the courts dont care. any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Jan. 4, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • take them to see a child psychologist and have him write up an offical report to the court.

    They will most likely have to see another after him..that the court or your ex's attorney appoint.

    good luck
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:13 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • If you feel that your children visiting their father is doing more harm to them than good, you absolutely need to bring it to the court's attention. Obviously their main goal is what is best for the kids and in most cases, that is being able to see and visit with both, their mother and father. But if your kids seem unhappy to visit him, are mysteriously ill when they return home, or don't want to go see him, which from his past you explained they have a legitimate reason, then they shouldn't have to...especially if he's been abusive in the past. I'd bring it up in court and go from there...or consult your lawyer.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:14 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • I'm sorry you are going through this. Sadly we live in a world where adults have more rights than children and children from conception till 18 are at risk from those who are supposed to love and care for them. I would fight for your kids and work hard to keep him from them. I wished the courts cared more about children and less about mom and dad in these situations.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Visitation and child support aren't always 2 seperate issues - I know in my state, legally, if you don't pay your child support, the other parent does not have to let you have your visitation time. I know people personally who have had to deal with it (my BIL just for one example). If he's not paying cs, you do not have to let him see the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I was this kind of child get a shrink to eval the kids and go to court to get a new supervisor a better one. I had that issue the supervisor we had made shit up and didn't listen to me tell him over and over I hated my mom she was a mean horrible abuser who allowed me to be molested, so we got a new supervisor she paid attention and my mom finally gave up her charade and I haven't seen her in 16 years since that day. PM me if you want more help I have been through it all.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 7:44 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I am so sorry to hear this. I have a sister who is going through a very similiar situation. She has a 2 year old who is having supervised visitations with a (in process of being convicted) sex offender of her older sister and a cousin, but because he hasn't abused the little girl ( or she cant say so) he gets visitations. It's sick and creepy but that's our judicial system for you. Gotta love how we protect criminals in this country.
    67mermaid

    Answer by 67mermaid at 1:48 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

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