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Baby cries with daddy?

My boyfriend works nights and sleeps days and I am a stay at home mom for the moment so I'm the main caretaker of our 4 month old son. He rarely ever cries with me and when he does, I can easily console him. Yet with his dad, he cries a lot and seems inconsolable. But when put in my arms again, he instantly stops. As a mother (and the main caretaker), of course he is very attached to me and I am the comfort figure. My question is what do I do to make my boyfriend understand and not feel so badly about it. I have told him he's doing all the right things and I try not to jump in when the baby is crying, but it's SOOOO hard to listen to (especially knowing I can console him easily). I've even just left the room at times, but then I feel guilty for leaving poor daddy. I just don't want him to feel as if I'm hovering over his shoulder and at the same time, I don't want him to feel I'm taking over

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Asked by ristosmommy at 11:43 PM on Jan. 4, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • You have to let baby get used to daddy... let em cry it out.... trust me you'll be grateful for the extra hands in the long run. Take it from someone who learned the hard way!

    Answer by SemperFiesty29 at 11:44 PM on Jan. 4, 2010

  • Some babies just take longer to warm up to Daddy...that is normal and fine :-) I wouldnt let him cry it out with him, I dont think that will help your son feel more secure in the situation. I would look for cues that the baby wants to go over to daddy..reaching out, staring at him, and then get him excited about it. My daughter was like that, but warmed up to him gradually and when she knew that if she wasnt happy and comfy mommy was right there to get her. I think it also helps if your bf gives him to you when this happens and he cant console him, that will let your son know that Daddy is listening to him and will develp trust and security. LOL I dont know if that makes sense. The way I look at it is separation anxiety is a normal healthy development...he needs to feel secure in his environment..crying it out doesn't do that. Keep doing what you are doing and it will get better!

    Answer by mammacita9 at 12:12 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I'm also a stay at home mom and my husband works full time. It was like that with us the first few months as well but she warmed up to him eventually. And now gets excited when daddy comes homw from work. But this is totally normal for them. I know he might feel bad but it's only temporary.

    Answer by PinkyLove at 12:43 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Maybe your boyfriend is a bit tense? Babies can feel tension and stress. Try to let him know to be as relaxed and calm as possible. :)

    Answer by leann74016 at 12:55 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I agree with the other posters that it is temporary. It helps to smile and get excited yourself when daddy comes home so that the baby can read the excitement. Once the baby realizes that all is well and that mommy is always there to rescue things will even out.

    Answer by amileegirl at 9:51 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • It's VERY temporary. Dad is a large hairy scary creature with a big booming voice who is definitely Not The Momma. TERRIFYING to the average infant.

    But at about the time they start walking,l it becomes All Dad All The Time and your boyfriend will be wanting to get the kid out of his hair. (Judging from the age, the phase will start in time for football season. Which most men find VERY irritating!)

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

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