Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Raising my mom?-didnt know where to put this question...but i seriously need some advise without ignorant bashing...long story short-was raised in a single parent home, kinda rough growing up but manage to get a degree, get married, and move away. now Ive always helped my mom, i worked 2 jobs in college and always sent her money, payed her bills, and even gave her atleast a glob of my refund im married not working yet cuz i just graduated....

my mom is struggling. her car was just repossessed lastnight cuz she had to give her whole check to her so-called friend who lended her the money who also makes 6 figures a year. So she has no money and works from sun up to sun down. her boss gave her a promotion but not a pay increase, she cant pay her rent so she will proly be put out by the 15th, the list goes on. I feel so bad that im not able to help her the way I used too but its also starting to wear on me. Since i moved out ive always had to "save" my mom. ive told her to get a bedda job but theres always a excuse. since community support is closing shes waiting for them to close down the agency she works for so she can get unemployment and work a part time job. my mom is very talented, can draw, write, paint and has a AA in architecture. She always helping people to the point that she gets used. i dont kno wha to do anymore, it hurts me to see her struggle.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (5)
  • Don't feel bad, you have to live your life and take care of home. Maybe you should help your mom balance her money, and tell her that she can't help everyone because no one is there to help no one was there to help her pay her car payments. I know its hard to see your mom struggle but the only thing i can think of is just to help her balance her money. When she gets paid the two of you can go over the bills she needs to pay. Or maybe she should just get a used car that wont require her to have payments, or move to a apartment or a place that is income based, section 8 or cheaper then where she stays.

    Answer by mzQ at 12:39 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • My mom is this way. At some point you have to realize she is an adult and HAS to take responsibility for herself. If you always bail her out she will never learn from her mistakes. It is her fault she is in these situations not yours or anybody else. You have to let her take care of herself or she never will and you will be forever drained trying to take care of her. She is the mother not the other way around. Good luck.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 12:50 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Welcome to the "Help your family group", I do it a lot, and it is starting to wear on me as well, but I do it anyway.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:20 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • You need to stop enabling your mom. The best thing to do is find a social services agency who will help your mom "grow up". If you are in Chicago, send me a message offlist, and I can point you towards a couple of agencies. Good luck, I am sure that this is very difficult for you.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:10 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • "She always helping people to the point that she gets used."

    Sounds like she's pretty good at using you too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.