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Just recently, I've become a live-in nanny for a family & I noticed a couple of things.

I don't quite know her age, but I'm assuming she's around 18-24mths. Is it normal for her to have not started talking yet? I've asked the mom and she's admitted that she hasn't started talking.

& at what age can you start "spoiling" children?
The other nanny [who's currently in the process of moving out] says something about spoiling the kids (one toddler, other 6mths-both girls) and is constantly yelling at them when they clearly don't understand.
Would it really be spoiling the kid at this age to pick her up when's crying?


Asked by fallen_tennyo at 4:04 AM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Ok it is normal for that age to not talk, but you should play word games to help with verbal development, point to things and say the name and see if she follows even if it isn't exact. No you cannot spoil a 6 month old they need to be held and loved, that isn't spoiling that is good care taking. Now if an 18 month old is crying to get attention that is different. I was a nanny and a teacher so if you would like any games or ideas to help you PM me I would be glad to help you, and you can vent being a nanny to other people's children can be very hard on you. Good luck and remember to have fun with them as much as you care take.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:55 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • is it normal not to talk? No. my son is 24 months and he only says two words. The doctor was concerned about his development and refered us to a specialist. it turned out my son is autistic. the specialist informed us that a child my sons age should be saying at least 25-50 words. I love to spoil my kids. I am tough when I must be and loveable 99% of the time. I agree with the teacher, play helps the childs development. schedule play dates with other children her age.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 5:36 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I don't think she means not talking at all but that she isn't a chatter box. At least that is what I got from it. Also if she is nannied and not nannied well she may not be hearing enough words to start talking. Also my brother said nothing until he was 4 they thought something was seriously wrong with him turns out he could talk fine just didn't want to talk to anybody but his older brother who swore he could talk and got in trouble for lying.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 5:48 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Yes, perfectly normal if the child has plenty of understanding at that age. My son didn't talk until he was over 3! But he understood ua all OK.

    And you can NEVER spoil a child with physical affection. It's the opposite! Withholding touch and comfort is neglect IMO.

    Answer by JWMomElizabeth at 6:55 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • You can spoil starting at four months.
    It depends on whether she picks her up and coddles her regardless of what she's crying for. If the child got into trouble and cries to get out of it, then it is spoiling the child to coddle them then. However, if the child hurt themselves, is upset, or just needs comforting then no that isn't spoiling. Jumping at the first wimper of a child everytime they wimper is spoiling.

    Children as young as a few months old can understand when someone is angry, sad, happy, etc. To say "She doesn't understand she's in trouble" is ignorant. Children understand a lot more then most people give them credit for. They're smart little creatures.

    If she isn't talking by age two, then she might have a hearing problem. Two cousins had hearing issues. One had fluid in his ears, which is remedied. That's why they weren't talking.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:32 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • The other ladies offered good advice, but I also wanted to add...

    Since you are the nanny, you might want to find out exactly how old the child is that you nanny for! There is actually quite a big difference between 18 and 24 months...I think 18 months should say 5 words...24 months should say at least 25 and start to put two word sentances together. Get to know the little girl. Read to her, take her on walks and point everything out, etc. The other nanny may have not talked to her very much so the child doesn't know any better.

    I also dont think you can spoil a child with affection....with toys, yes, but affection, no.

    Answer by Glowing4Caleb at 10:33 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • issues on spoiling will be different for each individual child in each individual family. You'll have to go with what the family thinks and feels about that.......and talking....well..that would be best assessed by a professional because as someone mentioned earlier...their child was diagnosed with autism. The child may just be introverted, or it could be something more serious. .

    Answer by LynnB1 at 10:55 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • alright thank you to everyone for helping me out!

    about the age confusion, i had JUST started that week and the mom was working too many shifts to really keep me updated on anything. so it was really hectic. but the younger is now 7m & the older 20m.

    by not talking, i meant word wise.
    she's learned a few words but doesnt really use them (understands commands though).
    and by a few i mean more like around three.
    and today she picked up one in korean, haha. (i'm korean.)

    Answer by fallen_tennyo at 1:50 AM on Jan. 7, 2010