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in the delivery room : i know i want my best friend there she just had her baby and can keep me calm and relaxed. my MOTHER on the other hand, will not keep me in any kind of relaxed state of mind! how can i talk to my mom? she says "Ive done this honeyyy, relax honeyyy i know what Im talking about...." etc. grrrrrrrrrr. Advice?

Its not that i dont want my mom there, its just that i cant stand being told to relax and told to calm down - i KNOW i need to relax - you dont have to tell me. lol. and she has that know it all attitude..... what can i do to put her in her place?

this is my first birth and i want it to be special - not stressful!

and dont say relax about it - lma0. :)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (8)
  • just be honest with her. Tell her that you do not need her assurance and just to be there with you and for you. If you come off mean, you can blame it on the situation and hormones later.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 10:43 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • just tell her the truth, i know it can be hard but let her know. when i had my first i was only 17 so my mom had to be there but they let one other person in with me so i had my best friend there too which helped out alot. for the rest my hubby has been there which in some cases isnt always better. lol but if she really wants to be there and you dont want to hurt her feeling find out if you can have both with you. just a thought
    michelle.coppes

    Answer by michelle.coppes at 10:46 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Honestly I expected the same thing from my MIL, but she just sat there and didn't say a word the whole time. but once you are in labor and things are really going, you won't even notice the other people in the room. I had no idea who all was in the room when DD was born a few weeks ago. I would try talking to her though. If all else you can always tell the nurse to make her leave if she starts in too bad
    jedwards2009

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 11:13 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • i know what your talking about my mom is the same way and im due in July and i came out and told her i do want her there and that i dont want to get stress out and if starts to stress me out after i tell her to please stop i will have her leave and if she wont leave when i ask her to ill have the nurse tell her but i did let her know that i do truly want her there this is her first grandchild

    cause when i misscarred in June 09 she was telling me to stay clam theres nothing i can do (i know that) and that i dont need to be crying and my dad even told her to stop and she wouldnt listen so the nurse on her own told her she had to leave


    good luck and i hope everything works out
    so if you want to talk on it to someone ever let me know i know its nice to let things off about it
    neonangel2188

    Answer by neonangel2188 at 11:18 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I would tell my mother that I already have a birth plan, and that my best friend is going to be in the room during delivery. Be honest. There's really nothing she can do about it, unless she straight out ignores your wishes and barges in the room.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 11:32 AM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Motherhood is about more than just creating a new human... We have a lot of unexpected challenges. Standing up to your mom with honesty sounds like a challenge ahead for you.

    You can have a great birth whether she is there or not--- maybe you can find a way to "train" her. ??
    Realistically, you have some history with her though ("baggage" maybe) and won't be able to get past that to enjoy your birth.
    So you can find ways to be honest and get it out there, so you can move on!

    Good luck!
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 2:30 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I felt the same way about my mom, she's dramatic. Turns out I let her in and she was my biggest supporter, I probably wouldn't have been able to finish the vaginal delivery had it not been for her being there. The Dr was about ready to send me to the OR.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I had my spouse, my sister (a nurse/midwife, who delivered my daughter), our doctor (my insurance wouldn’t pay for a midwife delivery) and one nurse (who is also a friend). I did not want anyone to call my mom until after my daughter was born.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:59 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

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