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24/7 mom

I have an almost 2 year old daughter and I take care of her 24/7. And when I say 24/7.. I mean 24/7. The longest I have ever been away from her is probaly a 5 hours. I get a break here and there to go take a test for school, but that is an hour max. I live with my mom and since I am a young mother (20 yrs old) she doesn't like to help me out b/c she believes that I made my bed so now I can lay in it. My bf comes 3 days a weeks to see us both, but still I'm the one taking care of her. I'm really starting to lose it! And since I'm the one that has soley taken care of her she freaks out everytime I leave and no one wants to watch her b/c she freaks out. Is anyone else a 24/7 mom? And if so how do you get from being completly stressed out? Finally after taking care of her day in and day out for 2 years I'm starting to lose my cool, and find myself crying more and more often. Help!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Well, i am a 32-year-old married SAHM of a 2-year-old and not living with my mom... I feel the same as you do sweetie! Except you are probably MORE stressed out b/c you live with your mom! I moved out very young b/c I couldn't stand living with my mom. Anyway, my husband works nights, sleeps till noon, then goes back to work, so I feel like a single mom. The thing is, no matter how young you are, or what your responsibilities are, everyone needs a break to just relax or to do something just for yourself. If your mom doesn't want to give you a break, ask a relative to take your little one for a few hours and go see a movie or get a haircut. Its the little things that will give you back your sanity. P.S., I'm still waiting for my 2 hour break... Maybe on my birthday ;-)
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 12:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • It won't help that your daughter is at a very high maintenance age. I DOES get easier I assure you. I'm not a lone parent so can't speak as one but I do home educate all mine and a few things have helped me feel feisty and worthwhile, up to the battle. How confident that shared experince and insight in books could help, I don't know. But I'd recommend this one for starters:
    What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing
    The more you research motherhood and put yourself in your daughters place the more your'll enjoy mothering ahead of anything else you could do for yourself.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • 2 years is a long time to do that! Do you have the money to enroll her in a mother's morning out - I know around here it's only like $100/month for 1 morning/week. At least it would give you a little bit of time for yourself. Also, if you take her to parks, libraries, etc maybe you can meet some other moms that you could trade off babysitting with - or post an ad for trading off babysitting, more and more people are bartering for services and it would require a little work, but also give you some extra time.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:17 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • My husband works a lot and his shifts are changng ones, so I find myself feeling like a single mom a lot. You need to break her of that cycle of you not being able to leave. Your mom should still help you out a little so you can have a break. My in laws do. My daughter just turned 2 today so i know how active and needy a 2 year old can be. Make sure you have a solid routine and try to enforce a naptime for her to wind down each day for an hour or 2. That will also give you a break to recollect yourself and get a few things done.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 12:20 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I did this with my first 2 children. You need a break. If your mom won't help, how about a mom's day out program at a local church? They usually don't cost much. Also, how about having her dad take her one day a week? He can learn along with her. And if she freaks out, that is okay. She will get used to it. By leaving her and coming back every time, she will learn that you will always come back, thus developing trust. It will be okay. If your mom is "punishing" you for having your child, then you need to find a way to get out on your own. It isn't good for your daughter or you for your mom to disrespect you in this way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Toddler groups! I don't know how you'd find out where they are near you but DO find out. They saved my sanity. I made friends and so did my sons. I took them out as much as possible. Not always convenient or stressfree but when they came home they would be much more content not staring at the same four walls all day everyday. Me too! Toddler groups rock!
    JWMomElizabeth

    Answer by JWMomElizabeth at 12:22 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I was a 24/7 mom. And no dad to help out at all. I was 19 when i had my son. i lived with my mom as well. She never changed, fed, bathed or did much else except help financially by letting us live with her bill free. So, I know how you feel. I did babysit other kids and when he was 3, I got him into a cost free 2 day a week pre-school. He cried at first, but, quickly got over it and it did give me a little time by myself to think about anything other then him. Yes, I loved him and enjoyed getting to stay home with him and teach him, but, 27/7 of him was a little much. LOL Just try to get her to stay for little spurts of time with others. And keep repeating that she can go to head start at 4 or school at 5. My son is 13 and it's still just me and him. Although I have moved on my own.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:27 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • i had my first when i was 20 and my mom felt the same way. but she at least helped me pay for her to be in daycare while in school and work. but my baby still would not let anyone else hold or watch her. i could find a friend to watch her for a hour or so but she would not stop crying until she was almost 3. so no one could watch her but my sis. im 25 now and live with my hubby and have a 19 month old but it is not much different than when i was a single parent!!!! my baby is still so attached to me that no one in our fam can hold him except us and 1 grandma so no one can keep him but her and shes 80! so i feel your pain. look into local churches the may have some affordable part time day care hours for 1 or 2 days a week to give u a break!
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 12:29 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Im a stay at home mom. I am married to the father. But he works all day long to support our choice of me not working and putting attention on our son during his early stages of life. You child is 2 now so it might not be a bad idea to enroll her in a daycare. Even if its just for a few hrs once a week. For you to have a break plus she needs to start learning how to play with other kids her age, and learn to look at other adults besides you or family as authority figures. I have worked at preschools where the paretns put off that exposure until right at time for kindergarden and its usually cases like yours where the mother stays home and is there 24/7. and those kids had a really hard time adjusting to a school/play settin without a parent.

    we all need a break sometimes. But like others said, this is a really needy age for your child. it will get easier. But maybe look into daycare once a week, for you and ur childs benefit
    Super09Mom

    Answer by Super09Mom at 12:31 PM on Jan. 5, 2010