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What can we do to cure boring sex?

I've been with my husband for 5 years now. He was my first and only guy I have ever been with. When we first were together the sex was hot and amazing, but over the years ive lost my sex drive. The only time we usually ev er have sex is when I take Ambien, because im usually out of it and im too out of it to say no.. which is kinda funny.. but then hubby just gets in and gets done... and its all over and done in 5 minutes of less.. And the other times I am awake and we have sex its really routine and boring.. and I hardly ever get turned on or even really want it.

I know that every couple goes through this at one point or the other, so what are some things you tried to make things better and get that want to back????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I personally believe good sex starts with foreplay. If you arnt totally against it maybe you can put an adult movie on that way it gets him excited. Try new things out. Sorry for being graphic, but sometimes my husband wants to have sex and I dont really feel like it so we 69 and that really puts us both in the mood. You could also trya sexy outfit. Self confidence is a good thing. Good Luck.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 5:40 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • my fiance and me dont have a good sex life. he is not big so to say so i dont get much feeling from sex, unless i use certain positions. i think him being small hurts his pride and it just seems he doesnt really have an intrest... i get affended most the time because i want it and he doesnt, and then i take it personal. i know its not me , i have lots to offer him. i am attractive and everything so wth?!?!? sex is so boreing and it last all of less than 5 minutes everytime. i am very sexually frustrated.. he is only 25 and shouldnt be so uninterested in sex already...GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Get a Kiss book, Keep It Simple Guide to good sex book. Read it together, or alone if you prefer. Women need to be turned on in different ways. Start thinking about sex in the shower, touch your self, trust your body. Talk to your partner tell him you want to be fulfilled to try different things to make it fun.
    Usually when we have young children were over tired and the only thing we can think about is relaxing and then sleeping. Give each other massages, take a bubble bath together. Some things to build your intimacy. Building a life and a sex life together. If you feel your having other concerns talk to your doctor.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 5:42 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Foreplay is a good place to start, and it starts before you get in the bedroom. It can be as simple as holding hands, kissing, a nice kiss on the back of the neck while you are cooking dinner etc.. Nothing fancy or hard core cause if you are like us, we have kids running around LOL.. Foreplay in the bedroom works great too, start petting with clothes on first then move to being naked. Music, your favorite, soft lighting. Different positions, toys, dressing up in something sexy.. If he is going to quick, take control and don't let him enter you until your are hot and ready.. Tell him what you want, like, need. And touch him, you can start by doing what you like to do to him then ask him what he would like for you to do to him. Take a shower together and see where things lead.. Your imagination is a great place to figure every thing out.. If it doesn't go as planned, done sweat it, HAVE FUN WITH IT....
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:43 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Great sex is more than 85% mental. I think I read that years ago in some book like The Joy of Sex. I agree with that statement. One of the best things for me (with sex) is playtime. I have to have fun sex. If it's boring I can't do it. I'm into wearing outfits and role playing. Before I met SO I played the dom and would push whoever I was dating down and climb on him and have my way with him, teasing and taunting him as I went along. SO is a control freak so I let him be the dom but he always makes sex fun so I don't complain. Plan something fun and naughty and see if it helps with you being the aggressive one. If nothing works then see your dr. It could be a hormonal imbalance. There are some over the counter things you could take. You can google them. Just make sure you don't have a medical condition that conflicts with them
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:11 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Watch porn together. We usually do the same thing each time, we know what we like. We change it up sometimes. And sometimes just try something new, with out actually thinking about it.
    Try watching the porn, it may turn you on.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 6:57 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • "Foreplay is a good place to start, and it starts before you get in the bedroom. It can be as simple as holding hands, kissing, a nice kiss on the back of the neck while you are cooking dinner etc.. "


    I'm not the OP but can you pls call and tell my SO that I'm NOT the only crazy woman who thinks this is true? He will ignore me all day and most of the night watching tv in the bedroom or whatever - he'll say he'll be right out to hang with us in 10 mins but never comes out; then at night he's like "hey wanna have sex?" and then doesn't understand why I laugh or say Not on your life...and yes before anyone asks I have explained it 100 ways from Sunday to him; but apparently he doesn't believe me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Try new things to make it exciting, now im not suring bout ur sex life since u have been w/ ur man 5 yrs. but if there is sum positions that yall haven't tried do them. or if there is jus sum that u haven't done in a long time. also try doin them different places that r exciting. talk dirty, watch sum porn, or jus start w/ foreplay.
    Mrs.Ferri

    Answer by Mrs.Ferri at 9:27 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • i would try new positions and new places. also foreplay is a good start. if you aren't turned on the how can you enjoy it? you could get a sex game. like you have to play the game and do different things to each other. good luck.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

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