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when do i know its time to potty train?

i have two girls. one is 5 and she is fully potty trained since July 2008. but my 3 1/2 year old isnt. She lies to me and tells me she has not gone number 2 when she has. i will continue to ask even though I KNOW she has gone poop and my husband knows this too. she will purposely ignore me and him when we ask nicely if she went poop. she will continue to turn around, watch tv, turn her head away and leave. we cloth diaper at home and when we are out. i use disposable ones while she is at pre-k. She has gone poop and pee in her potty chair but while watching tv. i wonder if thats okay or not? Also even she has done both she does not care. what im asking is, is there a difference between a kid who does not care to be dirty vs a kid who isnt ready? How do i know if she is ready or not? we have put her in her baby bjorn chair all day and night on a weekend when we dont go out. cont..

 
aeroslove

Asked by aeroslove at 6:53 PM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 8 (121 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • The first thing is you can not get angry. Not at all. I know it is I really do. I have a child who is autistic and another child who had medical problems who both trained late. If you are even showing the slightest sign of anger or annoyance it then becomes a power struggle. In this case, the winner is your 3 year old. For now to be honest, I would back off; show that you feel it is not a big deal. Take the stress off of your child that you have placed there. Do not compare to the older sibling. After 1 week tell her it is time to be a big girl! Do a Potty Party, make it fun and stress free for her and you from the start. You need to get a routine, and then stick to it. Every hour on the hour have her try to go potty. If she sits there and nothing happens that is okay. Tell her what a good girl she is for trying. When she goes, do the potty dance. She will get it when you are both positive about it. <3
    Mommie_Mommie

    Answer by Mommie_Mommie at 12:23 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • but she is eager to wear her cloth diaper after she has gone. she will say i went pee, i did it 2 times lol or i went poop and we both say and your point is? we dont want to continue with cloth or disposables but there isnt anything we say to make her encourage her to be a big girl. my husband says "dont you want to be a big girl like kaitlyn and use the potty in the bathroom etc" she says nothing to us. i really dont know anything else but clapping and being happy she went pee and poop. im actually pretending because in reality im still mad she hasnt decided its gross to be in a dirty diaper. she gets mad if we put her on the toilet or on her chair and says i dont want too or have too. what do we do?
    aeroslove

    Answer by aeroslove at 6:56 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • 31/2 and not pottty trained is way too old!!!! Wow! My 11/2 year old is potty trained. Sounds like you've waited too long and she is confused. Take the diapers away!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Um no, its not too too long. And no i cant take the diapers away. she goes to school monday through thursday from 11:55am-2:25pm. there is no way i can just take away all diapers. The school rules are if your not fully potty trained and full aware you need to ask your teacher that you gota go then you have to wear a disposable. she is 3 1/2 turning 4 on May 25th. yes 4 yrs is old but what can i do? She has a IEP and is behind in some of her communications and some other things i cant really remember on her latest IEP. But as far as i can tell she can talk just fine, communicate with us just fine when she is hungry and thirtsty, cold or hot. she just doesnt care to be dirty. i am asking for some opinions and suggestions not to take away full all her diapers because i cant while shes at school!
    aeroslove

    Answer by aeroslove at 7:24 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I feel ya my son is EXACTLY the same age as your daughter his birthday is may 30 he will be 4, and guess what I have exactlly the same problem. He does not care if he is dirty is does not phase him at all. What my husband and I have been doing is taking the diapers away during the day and just constantly asking him we have the small potty downstairs because our only current working bathroom is upstairs so the little potty has been the main potty. So outcome is most of the day he is still peeing and pooping his pants(w/o a diaper YUCK!) but he ocasionally will go to the little potty and pee in it and we will give him a sticker, he still goes in his pants more than the potty and refuses to poop in his potty just pee, but all we can do is try, keep encouraging, and just continue to clean up, and hope for the best. Good Luck:)
    jsimonds220

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 7:41 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • thats the thing, i dont want to clean up anything. we dont own this place where we live. this is a apartment and we need to keep it clean. I do not want to pay to get the carpets clean and DH is in the army. the more damage we do to it the more we pay and we dont have that type of money. Its like having a dog or a cat pee all over your carpet and it starts to smell. im pregnant and tired, i dont have time to bend over and clean. I rather have her on the potty chair or toilet and not able to move lol. im sorry if i sound mean but i dont want to clean up anything. i never did with my 5 year old.
    aeroslove

    Answer by aeroslove at 7:54 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Maybe she has a disorder that she doesn't realize she's pooped? Idk. 2 of my girls were stubborn, but they were both potty trained (finally) by 3.5. I'd ask the doctor about it. IMO she shouldn't be in any kind of school if she's not potty trained. Our preschool has it in the handbook, it's policy that a child cannot be in school if they aren't potty trained (they can start at age 3).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • im sorry but thats just too old... i have to agree with the other girl. kids aren't dumb. people say "oh they're just babies". Well somebodies a fool... and its not the kid! i understand being supportive, but at that moment an understanding between the child and the accidents needs to be addressed. make a point!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • completely take the diapers away from her when she is home.
    rahrahsmama

    Answer by rahrahsmama at 9:52 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Let her wear the disposable to preschool and underwear at home. It's just 3 hours a day. She'll figure it out. And when she chooses to go in her pants, have her clean it up. A few days of having to dump her poop in the potty will fix her not caring.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

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