Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 year old bedwetting and difference of opinion

I have a two part question...
My 4yr old daughter still wets the bed at night. She is fully potty trained except for at night. I think the main issue is that she is an incredibly heavy sleeper. If it were up to me I would just have her wear a pull-up at night, but my ex/her father won't allow her to wear one at his house and has her upset that she is not allowed to wear them. In order to not cause any additional stress on her I have decided to let it go and do a ton of laundry.
How do I get her to stop wetting the bed at night?
How do I deal with her stress caused by what her father has told her?


Asked by MChildressDem at 11:38 PM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 20 (9,966 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Well first of all why won't he ALLOW her to wear a pull-up? That kind of rubs me the wrong way. If she has accidents at night don't you think he would rather her have a pull-up on instead of wetting herself, underwear, pjs, sheets, and all?
    As for getting her to stop, you could try not letting her drink anything after a certain time and making sure she goes potty before bed. Other than that, there isn't much you can do, other than wake her up in the middle of the night to have her go to the bathroom but I would rather just let her sleep in my opinion. Other than that I don't know what else you can do. If she's a heavy sleeper there's nothing than can change that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • the last drink my son is allowed to have is at 7pm and thats it no matter how much he asks, as far as your ex... tell him to get real she is only 4yrs old this may be an issue for awhile so why not let her wear pull ups at night, tell him its upsetting her and her being upset might discourage her and you don't want that. Men just seem to know it all don't they!

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 11:47 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Sometimes there is nothing you can do to stop it. Do you have any other bed wetters in your family? It can be hereditary, thats what it was with me. My father wet the bed well into his teen years and so did I. I was seen by numerous doctors, had ultra sounds but they couldn't find anything wrong. I would talk in-depth to her doctor about it, but pull-ups would probably be the best option now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • Limit drinks in the evening, make sure she goes pee right before bed, offer tons of rewards/praise if she stays dry. The boy I used to nanny had this alarm thing that would wake him up if he started to go...I'm not quite sure how it worked, as I was never there overnight, but I do know that after he got that, I didn't see his bedding in the laundry as much, so it must have helped.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • I had that as a child. It was a beeper and it clipped right onto your underwear and also on your shirt up your neck so you can hear it beep. As soon as it gets wet it starts beeping to wake you. I would talk to another doctor if yours inst helpful. With me, limiting drinks at night did not do a thing, it was just something I had to out grow and it took a long time! There should be no punishment in bed wetting, it is something a child has no control over and punishment can only make it worse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I would tell him that if he does not let her wear a pull up at night then he will have to wake her up so she can go pp during the night some kids just sleep heavy. There also should be no punishment for it!

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 2:50 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Your ex has made a mistake to make a big deal about bedwetting. Its extremely common in four year olds. And she does not wet at night because she's lazy. Kids who bedwet just sleep so heavy they do not get the full bladder signal while asleep.
    I suggest you try washable waterproof undies for bed time. they have them on the website, some are pretty cute. Plus they will save lots of money compared to pullups.
    Get a book about bedwetting for yourself and your ex to read. Then calmly ask him to stay low key about the bedwetting. Also, if she is not bedwetting at his house it would be because she is not sleeping as soundly there.
    Many kids outgrow bedwetting by the age of six, but if it is still a problem past that age, then definitely consider using a bedwetting alarm. Above all, remain calm and patient with your daughter!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Jan. 18, 2010

  • See, I thought it was just me that I was sensitive to his ignorance. Glad to see that I am not the only one. He says that she doesn't "need" to wear them, but then again she doesn't have a bedtime at his house and often just falls asleep watching tv with him. I on the other hand make her go to bed.
    She still sleeps on her convertible crib mattress so the only thing that is wet is her pjs and sheets. She doesn't wake up even after she wets the bed, most of the time. Now that he has pushed her she won't wear a pullup and thinks that it is a punishment if I even mention it. I am so frustrated with him, but more concerned for her.
    When should I start to worry about her still wetting the bed? I have asked her pediatrician who was not much help.

    Answer by MChildressDem at 11:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2010