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how do i get my boyfriend to understand?

ok i have been with this guy for 4 years then apart 3 years and now back with him for 1 year and 4 months. my cousin died back in oct. and her 20 yr old daughter was having a hard time so we invited her and her 4 years old to stay with us. well my cousins daughter has left to be with her boyfriend and her 4 yr old is still with us. I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM BEING HERE, but my boyfriend does. he says i'm not his mother so why should he stay here. well his mother is staying in a house with no heat or food. i cant let this little boy go and stay in a house like that. how can i get him to understand this boy needs to be here. my boyfriend says i do more for him than i do for him and my 2 teens, maybe i do but he is 4 he cant cook his own food like my kids and boyfriend can. what should i do nobody here has a problem with it but my boyfriend. please help!!


Asked by okc-mom-2 at 11:55 PM on Jan. 5, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • tell your boyfriend you are trying to help out in their time of need and it's only a temp. situation, he is only 4 and your right it's not his fault he is in the situation he is in and he is not old enough to take care of himself, ask your boyfriend that if something happened to him and he had a child that age wouldn't he want someone to step up and help his child out? what you are doing is a good thing it may be tough for the changes in your household for your boyfriend but hopefully he can adjust to the situation. Good Luck

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 12:01 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Blood is thicker than water.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Jan. 5, 2010

  • maybe that is why you two split for 3 years. There is no way to make someone who is hard headed to see things any way but their own. You do what you feel is best and what you believe is best. If he can not be understanding of someone elses needs, then maybe you are better off without him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Sounds like he has a problem with being responsible. Otherwise he'd understand that family comes first and blood is thicker than water. Consider all this before you think about marrying him. It's a red flag.

    Answer by Ewadun at 12:02 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Tell your boyfriend to stop being to cold and heartless. Tell him that that's what's wrong with the world and if more people have the view of if not them then who and if not now then when the world would be a lot better place to be. You have to do what's right not what's easy and keep that little boy safe. It sounds like you should have stayed apart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • Your bf needs to pull his head outa his ass and focus on what the 4 yr. old needs, not what he needs...who's the toddler here anyway?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • tell your boyfriend if he is so unhappy to get the hell out! seriously what an ass. there is nothing rational, no reasonable advice any of us can give you hon, if this man truly is that coldhearted to a small child whose mother has basically left him? if he is really so so cold? get him away from you , your teens, and this young child. God forbid your teens learn how to "be a man" from him...because let me tell you anyone who can be so unfeeling about a child in bad news. very bad.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:17 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I don't think that you can. He seems to not be able to open his heart to this boy.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:12 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • sounds to me like its time for a new boyfriend

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 9:55 AM on Jan. 6, 2010

  • I think if he is this cold to a little boy and is actually jelous and acting like a spoiled brat, maybe you should rethink your relationship. Does he like to kick puppies too? geesh!

    Answer by salexander at 11:53 AM on Jan. 6, 2010